First off - thanks to all of you for your replies to threads on how to get a girl to kick you in the nuts. Evidently alcohol worked best for me.

Two weeks ago I woke up with no pants on and discovered my nutsack was the deepest purple I've ever seen. Naturally, I freaked out. I noticed that the outside of each testicle was fine, but right up the middle of sac it was severely discolored. Seemed very strange to me especially since I had no recollection of what happened the night before.…