Unexpected Work Day Nugget

[Joe S]

So I work in a 3 person cube with another guy and a girl. We have a lot of fun and kid each other often. A few days ago we were sitting around and the girl asked me to help her with something and I deadpanned, "No," and continued what I was working on. The guy pipes up out of nowhere and said "Junk punch!" The girl wheels around and goes, "Junk punch? Like punch him in the junk?" And the guy goes, "Yeah." He went on to explain about some movie he'd seen where apparently this woman makes a habit of getting revenge on her friends' misbehaving boyfriends by going up to their doors, ringing the doorbell, crouching down and then punching them in the junk saying "You know what you did."

(I haven't seen this movie, but now I want to, lol.)

We all had a good laugh at his recounting of the movie. Anyway, the girl goes, "Ew, I would never punch anyone in the junk. I don't want to touch that." We laughed again and then turned back to our work.

Probably a minute or two goes by and we're quietly working and I hear the girl say, "Now a kick..."

She didn't direct it at us, but more just said her thoughts out loud and clearly she was thinking about since a minute or two had passed and the conversation had dried up.

I don't know if more would have come of it but someone stopped by our cube and the moment was lost.

Cut to today. We're having lunch (like I said, we're pretty close and eat lunch together quite a bit) and somehow the subject comes up again...and it wasn't by me since I try not to give away my little fetish, especially at work. But it did, much to my delight, and the girl starts telling this story from her college days (she's mid-thirties). She said she was at the bar and some guy grabbed a "good handful" of her ass, so she turned around and squeezed him with "a really hard grip" and told him, "Don't ever touch me."

I found this kinda ironic considering only two days ago she said she didn't want to touch someone's junk and here she was squeezing! Not wanting to spoil the moment with any criticism, I let it pass. Besides, we were all laughing (somewhat uncomfortably) at this real life event. When we'd regained our composure, she said, dead serious, "Well, that's what happens if you touch me. You're gonna get your balls squeezed...hard." Then she flipped her hair and smiled very sweetly.

Fortunately, I still had a lot of food to eat, so I didn't have to stand up right away. That would have given away the entire game.

I have to admit, I'm quite hopeful this topic keeps rearing its head. And if it does, I'll be posting more.

[Ash]

That’s pretty lucky. It sounds like you hav e a vibe, like this totally comes off as flirting. 

Without realising it, you’re probably sending signals to her as well. 

I don’t know much about flirting but it’s all about indirect communication. The trouble I’ve noticed with women on this site and maybe in general is the lying. The indirect communication is never far off becoming a split personality or a #metoo moment, if the mood strikes them. 

Its fascinated me how often and consistently the women on this site contradict themselves in their posts. It’s a real thing. I think it’s perhaps a defence mechanism. Women are frightened of their own sexuality, because of the power men have over them. Men being risk takers go too far the other way, and this site is like Uber celebration of that. 

But yeah ear I guess the answer is to play it subtle, coax her out for drinks and slowly get her guard down to the point where she’s almost honest. Be interesting to see where it leads. 

I know now I had maybe one opportunity with an okCupid date/girlfriend but I freaked out. I was too afraid of being judged and then when we break up I discover she’s into bondage and was equally terrified of being judged. 

[Joe S]

@Jack Spoon - She's always referred to guys' junk as gross (except for her husband's, of course), and how she'd never touch or want to be touched by some other guy's goods. But the grab was from her younger days, so maybe's she's grown into her distaste, lol. And I think you're right about my cube mate. I've suspected for a long while now, which is why I was light on the details in my recounting just in case he's on here ;p

[volcan51]

once i dated a girl who was ready to knee me for real if i touch her ass.

i chicken. its not i havent been busted enough in my life but its still a little regret i have.

[Jack the Lad]

This sounds sexy af, I wanna work there! XP I'd imagine she thought that touching junk with her hands was too advanced/scary at first but felt comfortable enough to bring up the squeeze after you'd all talked about it some more, which is nice.

If it's coming up naturally then that's kinda the dream, but if you want to you could always gently encourage the topic in conversation via things like sports, self defense, tv shows and movies, like your other colleague did.

Also, you sure he's not into it? Sounds like he might have clumsily done the above...

[JLex]

Interesting balancing game to prod her into more without arousing suspicions. Talking about the sports you practice(d) could lead to talk of self-defense and that may turn out to be a goldmine while giving you plausible deniability.