The Morality in Abusing a Ballbusting Fetish

[Eric]

I've been into ballbusting for as long as I can remember. Through my personal sexual maturation I was always more interested in femdom than "chasing tail" as the kids say... This posed an interesting dynamic when I entered into a vanilla relationship.

It took months before I could confess my, well, kinkier desires to my girlfriend. That was somewhat of an internal battle in itself for me; do I come clean right out of the gate and risk scaring her off with my "unique" interests, or do I work to build a foundation first and then pull the rug out from under her once she thinks she knows all about me? Anyways, this is besides the point. Once she was aware of my fetishes, the fun was free to begin. But with that fun came a hesitation and disconnect. To a sweet young vanilla, kicking a man in the balls is a wholly frowned upon, if not forbidden activity. You should never ever hit someone, especially in such an vital and vulnerable place. So how now do I convince my girl that A), it's okay to kick me there and B), the harder the better?

We've been practicing BB for a while now, she's really gotten into it. Her aim is much better, we're trying different styles, positions, and footwear, but she still hesitates to really give it to me. I do my best to convince her that it's okay to leave me on the floor in a ball, but she's just too goddamn pleasant! Haha, I understand where she's coming from, it's hard to see the ones you love in pain, no matter the context. And this is about where I had an idea I hoped would make this easier...

I figured why don't you try to just take your frustrations from everyday life, work, financial stress, etc, out on my balls. As juvenile an idea as that is (sounds like a horny 13 year olds way of getting his nuts racked...), I was honestly hoping that it would break the barrier and give her the confidence to let loose on me. But this is where the moral dilemma comes in for me: is it twisted for me to use her very real frustrations for my own sexual gain? Is it wrong to search for sexual release when I should be by her side listening and being a safe place for her? As much as I could try and convince myself that she could benefit therapeutically from taking out her anger on me, I'm still doing it for my own pleasure. I'm still taking advantage of her. 

I dunno, this is an interesting moral question for me and I'm curious as to what you all think. Sorry for rambling on for so long, just felt like sharing this and getting some more opinions on what the consensus is on abusing your fetish. If you read the whole thing, thanks for sticking around. Leave a comment.

-Eric

[Franco]

I might be a little late for the answer, but you made a very interesting point. If I might answer, I would first take it to some kind of pragmatic cold vision of relationship. You could argue that every relationship is about taking something from the other. Even if you spend long hours listening to people and trying to help them fix their lives, it is as much for the pleasure of helping them as it is for the pleasure you feel at the fact that you helped someone. If I were to go deeper to this path, I'd even say that no action without any interest. Then, is it a bad thing that you feel good for spending your time, I'd even say INVESTING your time in the pursuit of pleasure from being helpful to people?
I think, and again, that's only my opinion that I think of as pragmatic, the difference between good and bad interests lies in the question "do I do that in the detriment of someone else?". Even if you take advantage of her, is it bad for her? Or would it be good? Well, At least, that's where I think the question really lies!
Anyway, long story short, if you ask her do to it, and she ponders to herself and decides "yeah, I could actually use that kind of comfort", then I think it's not bad. Also, helping her this way doesn't prevent you from " being by her side listening and being a safe place for her", one doesn't exclude the other!

[Mallory {The Boss}]

Intriguing title, Eric... and these guys have had some really good points :)

I guess it's not a secret to your gf, as she is a member here. Communication is key:

just ask her how SHE feels about this. I don't know if bb is sexual for her, but if it

is, I would definitely think it's a double-release (is for me ;) And by all means, do

what she enjoys most as well. I have to say, I hear it all the time from guys here,

that their partner doesn't want to go full-force on their nutts because they don't 

want to REALLY hurt him. But as you say, if she agrees to take her frustrations 

out on your nutts, that could perhaps lead to harder bb - it is quite funn and

addicting :D Either way, I'm happy you two enjoy this fetish together - you two

are a JOY to watch ♥ 

[Allen Witts]

I think it's okay, because of this distinction- you tell her.  If it was something that you didn't tell her about, I'd definitely feel that there are moral issues there.  However, if you're fully open, it's something that both of you get something out of- and it's her choice, so she's consenting.

[Dustin]

I don't think that's wrong, man. You win, and she wins. Nobody loses in that situation. So to me that's an A+ idea. Don't cock-block yourself trying to feel so pure.!

[playfight]

Just relax and enjoy. Some girls are not for bb no mater how much she loves u and want u make happy and some girls do not have problem to to be brutal to your nuts even she really loves you like gf, best friend or even a sister.

[Maskedguy 1.7]

hello,

what types of comment you want?

Random, specific,

just some basic advice,

it good to know her interest too , (know what she likes,) different people different fetish / kink / preference..explore it,

try also different types of bb, (femdom, foreplay, self defense, kick sessions, other..)

be generous. (Noah already told the detail)

and some girl not too easy to understand what they like & dont ...

[volcan51]

A kick in the balls for self defense. Or in general a kick in the balls she fires on her own iniciative. It feels different, not like spiritualy or emotionally. Her foot physically and sexually feels diferent.

So if you tell her to kick you its 100% your business. Its almost impossible she really leaves the fustrations of her day that way.(way more probable she lets them by not busting or just ignore you)

She is also a member here. It would be cool for you and us if she can give us her opinion.

Anycase dude. You are really a nice guy taking her feeling into a so much consideration.

[Liquid Metal]

I think you need to make sure you also do things for her that she wants, find out if there's things she likes you to do, make sure it isn't only a one way street. I think you in the long run will be better off with someone who actually cares about you, and your well being than someone who doesn't care if they hurt you. Sometimes the fantasy isn't as fun if it plays out in reality. I also have a wife who is very timid and doesn't want to harm, etc. But I've found a way to release her inner beast and make sure she gets as much pleasure as I do from this. I personally was never into the femdom thing, more of a sensual ballbusting, teasing, as foreplay, so it works out well, because she likes for me to overpower her, and take her, so we bot get what we want out of things. Hardest thing with us was getting her to be open and honest about what she liked or didn't like. She was always so vague, or saying that what I did was awesome, but never telling me specifics. 

Another thing, the relationship isn't only ballbusting, if she isn't just a hired domme, you need to make sure that isn'the only thing that you do together, or she will get bored with it, and you. I don't think it is exploitation to give her a tool to use to release frustrations. 

[Greed]

It seems like a mutually beneficial arrangement to me.

[Joe]

"Her frustrations for your sexual gain?"  What is this?  What is going on here.  You are 2 consenting adults participating in an activity you both want to do.  You are massively over thinking this situation and trying your hardest to find something wrong with it.  Don't over think so much.  Just enjoy this if this is both what you want to do.  Even if you both get something different out of it.  It's normal for people to get different things out if it. You won't get the same things out of if of course.  That is totally normal.