It's been almost eleven months since she walked out of my life.  Writing about her has forced me to relive that last night with her.  What if I had let her knee me?  Or, when I blocked it, had I excited her by protecting myself so much that she wanted sex?  Were her tears real?  I know women can turn on the waterworks at will.  When I told her it was over, was it her plan to punish me?  When she had punched, kicked, slapped, and kneed me in the past, and she wanted sex, the only way I would…