Helen Part Five

[Myron Cumberland]

As the election neared, Helen grew more distant.  To her, I was the enemy because I didn't follow her leftist herd mentality.  I'm just not into politics.  If and when I do vote, it's by flipping a coin.  She believed everything the media said about the president, and I didn't care.  My apathy enraged and disgusted her.  One would think she'd bust me more because of that, but our dates became fewer, and I seldom spent the night.  When I was over there, she'd insist we watch cable news, which I find boring and biased.  I'd try to get frisky, but she'd push me away with "Stop it, Myron, this is important!".  It really wasn't.  It was just Orange Man Bad on repeat.  I could still pin her against the wall for a "surprise" knee, but the sex afterwards was perfunctory.  Gone was her delighted laughter and wildness in the bedroom.  She said it would change if I showed some interest in politics and was committed to voting her way.  I said I'd give it a try.  She invited me to her friend's house for a mini rally.  We were the only couple.  There were about a dozen shorthaired butterface feminists standing around just dissing the president.  It was boring.  I decided to liven it up by saying "At least he's better than Herbert the Pervert".  Helen walked up to me and punched me in the balls.  I screamed and bent over.  Every woman in the room shrieked with laughter, including Helen.  I looked at her aghast.  She had never busted me in public.  I searched her face for some sympathy for humiliating me in front of these awful women, but I saw only cruel amusement.  I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of seeing me on my knees, so I willed myself to recover.  I was winning the fight to straighten up when a friend of hers punched me from behind.  It was too much.  My scream came out like a yodel, and before I went down, I saw that several of the women, including Helen, were recording me with their phones.  I don't know how long I was on the floor.  I do know that I was kicked and stomped on(not in the balls)more than a few times, all the while being laughed at.  Some of the women took selfies next to me.  When I recovered, I looked over at Helen smirking at me, and I knew that we were no more.  She, however, didn't know it.  End of part five.