Egg Breakers (Chapters 22–23)

Chapter 22

“Look who we found sneaking into his room.”

Lizzie and Rebecca dragged me in front of both moms, who were already laying down, grinding their feet into the foot-pillows.

“Joshua, where were you?”

Lizzie twisted my arm. “I think he was trying to escape his punishment.”

“I think he didn’t want to massage your feet, mom,” Rebecca said.

“Well that’s too bad.” Rebecca’s mom scrunched her toes into the foot-pillow. “He’s going to have to do it anyway.”

“Yeah, she didn’t win that fight for no reason.” Mom wiggled her dirty foot. “And I need mine too.”

Lizzie slapped my back while yanking my arm. “Well it looks like Joshy Woshy here doesn’t want to do it.”

“How about we flip a coin?” Rebecca pulled one out of her pocket. “If he wins, he gets out of massages. But if he loses, all 4 of us get to decide a punishment.”

Rebecca’s mom laughed. “I’m going to make him massage my feet!”

Lizzie pinched my cheek. “I think he agrees. It’s his only chance out.”

Mom looked at me. “Are you sure you want to do that? I might think of something worse than a massage!”

I couldn’t believe these two devils were making me do this. I nodded.

Rebecca spun the coin in front of me. “Are you sure? My mom’s real lucky.”

I nodded again, praying my luck was amazing.

“Hold on,” mom said as she ran to the steps. “Before we flip the coin, I have to get something.”

Rebecca sat down next to her mom, and Lizzie put me into a chokehold. I didn’t resist… I couldn’t resist, or else things would get so much worse.

“Mom, wouldn’t that be great if Lizzie taught us these moves?”

“Isn’t that what Mission Egg was for?” Her mom looked oddly at me. “Does he still have it in his mouth?”

“Something like that.” Rebecca smirked. “Isn’t it nice having peace and quiet?”

Her mom laughed. “Would be nice having some peace and quiet at our house.”

Lizzie bent my arm. “Aren’t you glad I taught you two the shutty uppy move?”

“Yes, very.” Rebecca’s mom grabbed the coin. “Actually, I think I thought of something better than a massage.”

Mom ran downstairs in her karate outfit and a heap of socks, handing a pair to each girl.

“These are lucky. They have ‘Egg Breaker’ written on them. It should tip the luck in our favor, since 3 of us won with those on.”

Rebecca held up her neon yellow socks. “These aren’t the same color.”

Mom waved her away as she put on her brown ones. “That doesn’t matter. The words are what matters. And I have the luckiest pair! Although this one’s wet. Did someone step in soda?”

Lizzie tossed me onto my back and locked my arm, then jammed her foot on my chest and threw her neon green socks on me.

“Put those on me.” She smirked. “Unless you want some cereal a la Jules?”

I struggled putting Lizzie’s socks on with one hand, while mom rushed over and slipped two socks on my feet.

“Okay,” mom said, “now everyone get a foot on the last place loser. That should give us the best of luck, and Joshy Woshy the worst luck.”

Lizzie pressed her foot into me. “So what do you pick?”

“He picks heads!” Rebecca said as she stepped on my head.

“Since his head is just one big egg,” Rebecca’s mom said as she got my stomach. “That’s what Lizzie taught, wasn’t it?”

Everyone laughed.

“And I get the luckiest spot. Sorry Joshy Woshy.” Mom stepped gingerly on my eggs. “We pick tails. Flip the coin!”

Rebecca placed her foot across my eyes. “No peeking.”

I laid there and kept wishing for heads. I needed heads. I really really needed heads. Did they give a rigged coin with two tails? I began breathing rapidly. Lizzie would do something like that, wouldn’t she? I felt myself hyperventilating.

The room became completely silent—like a vacuum sucked all the air out.

I heard a flick, and the coin landing.

“I think it was this carpet,” mom said. “Try over there.”

I heard another flick.

And another.

“Is that a two-headed coin?” Lizzie asked.

“Didn’t you check?” Rebecca shifted her foot.

“Who the hell checks for that?” Lizzie ground her foot into my chest.

And another coin landed in the carpet.

“Does anyone have a nickel?” Rebecca’s mom asked.

I felt some shifting around.

“Here’s a dime,” Rebecca said.

“Make sure you check both sides,” mom said.

“Yep, perfectly normal. Here you go, mom.”

I felt shifting around on me. I jerked around and tried to get out from under them, but mom pressed down hard.

“Stop moving! We didn’t flick the coin yet.” Mom changed to a whisper. “Maybe try the kitchen.”

One foot left me, and I heard the dinging coin, then cursing.

“Are you sure you checked this, Rebecca?” her mom yelled from the kitchen.

“Lizzie, will you go flip the coin for her?” Lizzie’s foot left as mom leaned down and whispered towards me. “Sorry, Rebecca’s mom doesn’t know how to flip a coin.”

Rebecca laughed and wiggled her toes on me.

I couldn’t believe this. Did Lizzie really corrupt everyone so badly?

“Okay, yay, look at what it landed on.” I don’t think I ever heard Lizzie as melancholy before.

“Give that here!” Mom stepped off of me. “Oh, I was using the wrong foot. No wonder it wasn’t working.”

Mom stomped on my groin.

I felt the dime land on my chest.

Everyone clapped and cheered.

Rebecca took her foot off my eyes as Lizzie put the microphone up to mom’s mouth.

“How’s it feel to have won the coin toss?”

“Great! I couldn’t have done it without all my fans cheering me on!” Mom raised her foot and showed me the bottom. “Looks like I broke your luck.”

* * *

Rebecca shoved me against the fridge.

“Open!”

She grimaced as she plucked her panties out of my mouth.

“Imagine if my mom caught you with these in there. What do you think she would do?”

Probably kill me.

“That was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen.” She kissed my cheek. “I would kiss you on the lips, but ew.”

I tested my jaw. “Did you have to step down so hard?”

“They would’ve known something was up. I had to make it seem real.” She reached down and touched my…

I jumped.

“Just checking they still work. Your mom got you real good!”

I smacked her hand away.

“Now I know she actually did kick you. I just thought Lizzie was lying.”

I felt myself turning completely red. “Could we change the topic please?”

“Don’t want to think about your mom making eggs?” Rebecca giggled. “I thought that was your favorite.”

I wanted to die.

“Is something going on in there?” mom asked.

Rebecca leaned around the corner. “Nope, everything is fine. Joshy Woshy just got distracted by eggs.”

“Are they broken?” Rebecca’s mom asked.

“What do you think?” Lizzie said.

Everyone laughed—except for me.

Rebecca dragged me to the sink and rubbed her foot on my crotch. “Nope, all works.”

I looked down at her neon yellow socks. I think that’s my new favorite color. I gripped the countertop as she rubbed a little more.

“Are you looking under the table? Remember this morning?” She pressed harder.

I grabbed her leg and groaned.

“You better never forget it.”

She stepped away and opened the freezer right as Lizzie turned the corner.

“Mom sent me in here because you two were taking so long.”

Lizzie shoved me out of the way and grabbed a few bowls.

“The winners get Joshy’s favorite ice cream.”

“And the loser gets nothing.” Rebecca chuckled as she pulled the ice cream out.

“Get the spoons.” Lizzie crossed her eyes, then ripped them out of my hands and met Rebecca at the table.

“So your mom really kicks him?”

“Are you surprised?”

“I can’t see my mom doing that to my brother.”

“Maybe she should try!” Lizzie laughed as she scooped more ice cream.

“That would be funny. His eyes would probably pop right out of his head.”

“Well good thing you kept them in.” Lizzie looked at me and smirked.

I turned around and washed my hands. I felt myself melting down the drain.

Lizzie left with two bowls. Rebecca handed me two.

“Isn’t this fun?” She snaked her hand into my crotch and squeezed. I jumped. “Now bring these two bowls to the other room.”

I led with Rebecca right behind.

“Took you long enough.” Rebecca’s mom held out her hands. “Did it melt yet?”

“No.”

“Oh, so now he speaks!” Mom stretched her feet on her pillow. “Maybe you wouldn’t have lost if you spoke before!”

Lizzie smirked. “Too bad he had to face our lucky socks.”

“You mean my lucky socks.” Mom wiggled ‘Breaker’ in my direction.

Rebecca laughed and ate ice cream out of the bowl while I held it. “Wow, I don’t even need to hold my bowl.”

“Great idea!” Mom pointed to the floor. “Loser, get down and become our table!”

I stared at mom, and couldn’t believe what I was hearing as everyone giggled. I pointed to the table that was a few feet in the other direction.

Lizzie smirked. “Reebee, is that what you pick as his punishment?”

“I guess it is.” Rebecca ate another spoon, then pulled the bowl out of my hands. “You heard your mom, get down on the floor!”

I sighed. “This is ridiculous.”

“You know what’s going to be ridiculous?” Lizzie shook her spoon at me. “Your face if you don’t get on the floor right now!”

I got down on all fours in front of them, and felt four bowls rest on my back. I was completely surrounded by four crazies, all clinking their spoons against their bowls.

Mom nudged her foot in my side. “You better stay still and not drop one drop on this carpet!”

“Remember when he smashed that bowl all over your socks?”

“Clumsy Joshy’s lucky that was in the kitchen and not in here, or he’d be eating every last drop off these right now.”

Mom nudged my chin with her foot and I turned my head away.

Rebecca’s mom laughed. “Now that I would like to see!”

“Joshy would love that too much,” Lizzie said. “Plus mom’s socks are pretty clean.”

Mom nudged my chin again. “Doesn’t that sound nice? It’s your favorite food in the whole wide world.”

“Favorite foot too,” Lizzie said.

Everyone laughed. I wanted to sink into the ground as Rebecca’s mom prodded her toe in my stomach.

“Don’t drop anything!”

All the bowls vibrated above me as I shifted my body.

“Stop it!” Rebecca yanked her bowl away. “You almost made my bowl fall.”

“That was the plan.” Rebecca’s mom jammed her toe in some more, but mom placed a hand on her leg and pointed to the carpet.

“Not in here.” She pressed her foot on my cheek. “In here.”

Everyone laughed as I whipped my head away again. I felt Lizzie pressing her spoon in hard to keep her bowl pinned to my back.

Rebecca’s mom launched a kick in my stomach, causing the bowls to bang into each other.

“Score one for mom!” Rebecca laughed. “Have you ever thought of practicing for soccer?”

Rebecca’s mom laughed and kicked me again. “Maybe they should make a soccer team for soccer moms.”

Lizzie snickered as she kept her bowl pinned. She knelt down in front of me, and I stared into her legs.

“I could join too.” Mom launched a kick in my ribs. “Wow, that move is a lot of fun.”

“Isn’t it?” Rebecca laughed as she scraped her spoon in her bowl. “All done.”

Lizzie pinched my cheeks and stared into my eyes. “Well at least that’s one bowl you won’t have to be eating. Aren’t you lucky?”

My stomach and ribs exploded as both moms laughed. I bit my tongue, trying to stay as still as possible.

Lizzie squeezed. “Better not fall.”

My side flashed in pain again. My arms started involuntarily shaking.

“Stop moving!” Mom poked my ribs with her foot. “I can’t finish my ice cream.”

I could hear all 3 bowls clanking against each other while Lizzie squeezed my cheeks harder. She sat up and made sure to grind both knees into each of my fingers, then came back down with a spoon full of ice cream.

“Open wide for the choo choo train!”

I yanked my head away as she moved it closer, making all the train noises. My fingers crushed as she shifted around, keeping the spoon in my view.

All 3 bowls left my back as my stomach exploded in pain.

“And she scores the winning goal!” Rebecca jumped up and down while everyone laughed.

I was on the ground, curling into a ball as best I could. Pain radiated through my entire body.

“Joshua!” Mom rubbed her toe into my nose and smeared a drop of cold stuff onto my cheek. “You got ice cream on the carpet!”

“Oops.” Lizzie made train noises as she wiped her entire spoon on my cheek. “Should’ve opened the tunnel.”

I couldn’t even think straight. Everything radiated in unbearable pain. My entire cheek was painted in cold as multiple feet rubbed around. I groaned into the carpet and curled into a ball when Lizzie finally got off my hands.

“All aboard the choo choo train!”

* * *

Both moms used me as a footrest while they watched their show.

I couldn’t turn my head or the entire sticky-side of my face would rub into the carpet. And every so often, mom would scrape her foot on my cheek and jokingly offer me some more.

“Wow,” Rebecca’s mom said, “that episode was amazing. What did you think?”

Mom clapped. “I can’t believe I always yelled at Lizzie for watching this. This show is great.”

Lizzie pressed her foot in my back. “How’s the Joshy Woshy Express doing?”

I groaned.

“Oh stop being a baby!” Rebecca said. “I kicked you four hours ago.”

Rebecca’s mom prodded my ribs with her foot. “I think it was this side that got him.”

Mom did the same to my chest. “Although did you have to keep jamming your foot into our footrest? I could barely hear the show sometimes.”

“Only during commercials.”

Both moms laughed as they raised their feet.

“Okay, Joshy Woshy,” mom said, “you can get up now and clean your filthy face.”

I rolled over onto my hands and knees and felt two heels land on my back.

“Wow, Footrest 2.0!” Rebecca’s mom laughed as she dug her heels in.

“I’ll have to try that some time.” Mom patted my clean cheek. “Now go clean up, sweetie.”

“He’s not so sweet anymore,” Lizzie said. “More like sticky.”

Everyone laughed as I turned red and made my way to the bathroom.

Half my face was completely raw from grinding into the carpet, and the other half had different color lint and fibers ground into it. After I washed up, I took my shirt off and felt my sides. So many sections were painful to the touch.

I heard a knock.

“Lizzie, go away.”

More knocking.

“I said go away! I’m going to the bathroom!”

More knocking.

I whipped open the door, and Rebecca came bursting in. She closed the door behind her and locked it.

“Sorry I made you eat the ice cream off my sock.”

“Let me guess, you had to blend in?”

Rebecca giggled and ran a finger down my chest.

“Why did you kick me so hard?”

“Sorry, I’m so used to winning matches, I wasn’t thinking.”

“I think my ribs are—”

I winced as she felt my ribs, then she smirked at me as she got down on her hands and knees.

“What are you—”

She jammed her finger in my ribs. “Shut it.”

I bumped into the sink as I squirmed away. She followed me on her knees, and pressed herself against me.

“Pants.”

I looked down, mouth wide open, but pulled my pants down.

“Boxers.”

I hesitated.

“Boxers!” Her finger jammed in my ribs.

I winced and grabbed her hand as I pulled them down with my other.

“Good boy.” She kissed my chest, and then my stomach.

I looked down at her as she peeled off her sticky ice cream sock.

“Open.”

I stared at the neon yellow socks. It didn’t look very neon yellow anymore. It had carpet flakes and who knows what else in there.

“Tunnel! Now!”

I silently screamed as she squeezed my eggs and shoved the sock in.

“Good boy.” She looked down. “Looks like you like it when my mean side comes out to play.”

She leaned forward and pressed her boobs against me, pinning it to my stomach.

“Nod if you like that.”

I nodded like I never nodded before.

She flicked my balls.

I winced, then nodded.

She flicked harder.

I tried closing my legs, but she pressed her boobs in harder. I nodded.

She looked up at me and smirked. “How does the stale ice cream taste?”

I moaned, and nodded.

She laid on her back and pressed her socked foot into my crotch.

“You like that?”

I nodded. She pressed harder.

“Is my sock yummy?”

She pressed harder. I nodded as I groaned and grabbed her foot. She kicked my hand away and stomped.

“Touch me again and you’ll get it worse.”

I curled over her foot as she used her bare one to force me back straight. She dragged that foot down until it reached the other one.

“Now where were we.”

She jammed both into me as she lifted my entire body. I groaned into the sock and gripped the counter trying to prevent myself from falling over—she responded by wiggling her toes.

“Nod!”

My groin was crushed as I nodded and nodded.

She finally let me down and massaged me with her feet.

“Will you let me play soccer with them again?”

I hesitated, and she pressed her heel in. I nodded.

“Good boy.”

She got up on her knees and pressed her boobs against me.

“Now give me my sock.”

I opened my mouth and moaned as the sock fell out.

She yanked it out of the air and began putting it back on her foot. Her movements were vibrating directly through my crotch. She bumped into it a few times, but it felt amazing.

She punched me in the balls, and I collapsed to my knees.

“Stop being a baby. I thought you were a man.” Rebecca giggled as she wiggled her boobs. “Now hurry up, your mom’s waiting for her gift.”

Chapter 23

As I made my way through the living room, everyone was staring at me.

“Oh, perfect,” mom said. “While you’re up, can you get me a glass of water?”

“What took you so long? Were you practicing?” Lizzie laughed.

“Liz,” Rebecca said, “you know he has to throw punches and stomps all the time, even in the bathroom.”

Both of them smirked at each other as I rushed into the kitchen as quickly as possible. I filled up a glass and rushed it back to mom.

“Where’s mine?” Rebecca’s mom wiggled her ‘Breaker’ foot in my direction.

“Sorry, I forgot.” I filled another glass and rushed back.

Rebecca laughed. “I think our moms are really learning how to control him.”

“Just threaten to kick his eggs, and he’ll do anything.” Lizzie chuckled.

“Lizzie,” mom said, “stop teasing your brother. He does it because he loves us.”

“Loves us breaking his eggs!”

Everyone started laughing as I burned red.

“Is there anything else anyone needs?” I asked.

“Yeah, Footrest 2.0,” Lizzie and Rebecca said at the same time. They wiggled their feet in the air and crossed their eyes.

“Are you sure you want to waste your one wish on that?” Rebecca’s mom asked. “We got to use him as a Footrest 1.0 for free!”

Mom laughed. “That’s true. Don’t waste it.”

Lizzie smirked at me. “Me and mom still have our wishes.”

“Punishments, not wishes!” mom said between giggles. “They’re supposed to be awful.”

“Awful for him, wishes for us!”

I just wanted to get out of here, but I knew it would be much worse for me if I did.

Lizzie rushed over to mom and held the microphone out.

“So what sort of horrible punishment has Egg-Breaker Mom come up with?”

“Well first, he has to get out of the way. He’s blocking our TV.” Mom shifted the microphone as I took a few steps to the right.

“That didn’t count!” Rebecca said.

“Of course not, that was an order.” Mom laughed, then leaned into her microphone again. “Does the crowd want Mrs. Nice Breaker?”

Nobody made a peep, so I clapped and cheered as loud as I could.

“Or Mrs. Bad Breaker?”

I almost fell into the TV as all four screamed and cheered.

“Sorry, Joshy Woshy, the crowd always gets what they want!”

Lizzie smirked as she brought the microphone around the room.

“Mrs. New Fan, what do you think mom should do?”

“She’s in her karate outfit, I think she needs to use it!”

Lizzie ran to Rebecca. “And Reebee, what diabolical idea is in your mind?”

“More ice cream?” Rebecca smirked at me.

Lizzie gestured towards me. “And we all know his stupid answer.” She ran back to mom and held the microphone out.

“Actually, he still wasn’t punished for sneaking out of the house.” Mom pulled off her sock. “I had to run outside to look for him, and look at how filthy my feet got!”

“Ew mom,” Lizzie covered her nose, “that’s gross!”

“Doesn’t it look yummy?” Mom laughed and wiggled her toes in my direction.

Lizzie ran up to me and began swinging her fake microphone in my face. I tried knocking it away.

“Don’t those look super yummy, Joshy Woshy?” She laughed, dodging every swing.

“They’re gross!”

I ripped the microphone out of Lizzie’s hands and chased her around the room. Lizzie hurdled over the couch as Rebecca slid out of the way—I followed. Rebecca grabbed my leg, causing me to flip over the back and fall face-first into the carpet.

Rebecca snickered as she let go of my leg and peeked over the couch. “Are you okay?”

I flopped onto my back and groaned as I held my head.

Lizzie placed her foot on my chest and started wiping it on me. “Lucky these aren’t mom’s disgusting feet!”

Everyone laughed as I tried to knock Lizzie’s leg away. She pressed in harder as she dug through my pockets, pulled out an energy bar, and dropped it on the floor.

“What’s going on back there?” mom asked.

“Nothing,” Rebecca said as she giggled, “Lizzie’s just teaching Joshy Woshy a footwipe special.”

Lizzie gave me an evil smirk and stomped on the energy bar, then kicked it under the couch. She winked at Rebecca, then used my stomach as a step to make her way back over the couch.

I made sure to punch her leg as hard as I could, then reached under the couch and grabbed at the energy bar, but my fingers barely pushed it out of reach. I pulled my hand out just in time as mom turned the corner.

“Are you okay, honey?” Mom looked down at me. “It looks like you took quite the spill.”

“It is,” I said, rubbing my head. “Thanks for asking.”

She wiggled her toes. “I put my sock back on. My feet are too filthy to be walking around on my beautiful carpet. I think I’m going to go upstairs and wash them right now.”

“But you can’t go,” Lizzie said, “you still have to pick his punishment!”

Mom placed her ice cream crusted sock on my chest and laughed as she wiped it around a little. “There, I gave him a footwipe special!”

As mom made her way up the steps, I quickly looked under the couch to grab the energy bar—it was gone. The gremlin at work yet again, hopefully it was gone for good just like the other one.

I pulled my hand out and wiped my chest as I sat up.

Lizzie smirked as I stood. “How was mom’s new favorite special?”

I tried smacking the back of her head, but she dodged. “Where is it?”

“Where’s what?” Rebecca giggled.

“You know what!”

“Stop trying to hit your sister,” Rebecca’s mom said. “They were sitting on the couch the entire time you were back there.”

I grumbled and made my way into the kitchen. I pulled the other energy bars out of my pocket and stuck them back in the cabinets. That’s the last time I try to take food out of the kitchen.

I almost jumped out of my skin as I heard the refrigerator open.

“Afraid of little ol’ me?” Rebecca smirked as she grabbed the orange juice.

I pulled her to the side. “Rebecca, what happened with the energy bar?”

“The what?”

I shook her. “Please get rid of it.”

She shoved me against the counter and placed the carton down.

“Don’t you ever touch me like that.” She poked my chest and dug into her pocket, then pulled out her panties. “Want me to use these again?”

I nodded no.

“Then shut it.” She shook them in my face. “Now, I don’t know anything about… what did you call them? Energy bars?”

I nodded.

“Never heard of them.” She smirked, stuffing the panties in her back pocket as she pulled out a glass.

“Rebecca, ple—”

She shot me a glare. I instantly shut up. “Good boy.”

As my stomach fell to the floor, she drank her orange juice. They were going to dangle this in front of me, and mom is going to believe her favorite little devils.

“Now come on,” Rebecca said as she put the glass in the sink. “Me and Lizzie thought of the best punishment yet!”

* * *

Lizzie was parading around the living room, swinging her imaginary microphone around by the cord.

“There’s the loser himself.” She ran over, waving the microphone in my face. “Had to clean your footwipe shirt?”

“No.”

“Wash your mouth from ice cream socks?”

I nodded no as everyone else cackled.

“Wash it from the shutty uppy?”

“What’s that?” mom asked.

Rebecca’s mom patted mom’s leg and smirked at me. “Nothing, just something Lizzie made up while you were upstairs.”

“Sounds fun!” Mom giggled. “What I wouldn’t give to make him shut up sometimes!”

“Do you want mom to do it?” Lizzie jammed the microphone annoyingly close to my face.

I smacked her hand away. “No!”

“Well I could make you, but I won’t.” Lizzie put her finger on her chin. “Now, what could little ol’ Lizzie have planned for my final wish?”

Rebecca laughed. “More ice cream?”

“No, no. He likes that too much.”

“Footrest?” Rebecca’s mom raised her feet in the air.

“No. Too simple. And we could get that any time.” Lizzie looked around the room, and pointed. “Now there’s an idea.”

Everyone stared at where Lizzie was pointing.

“The shoe rack?” mom asked. “What’s that have to do with your wish?”

“Mom,” Lizzie said, “how long have you had those sneakers?”

“Didn’t me and you buy those eight years ago?”

She nodded. “And Rebecca, how long did you have yours for?”

“Well, I’ve worn them for years.” Rebecca giggled. “And always put them on after soccer practice.”

“And I’ve had those flipflops for who knows how long,” Rebecca’s mom said.

“Lizzie,” I said, “you can’t be—”

Lizzie put her finger on my lips. “Did you lose the coin toss?”

I nodded.

“Then shut it.”

Mom laughed. “Was that the shutty uppy?”

“Something like that.” Rebecca smirked at me.

Everyone giggled as Lizzie patted my cheek.

“Now, where was I?” Lizzie walked over to the shoe rack, and picked up a flipflop. She walked back towards me, smacking it against her hand. “Remember the pillow game?”

“How could I forget?” Mom picked up a pillow and crossed her eyes as she giggled.

“I think we should all get to play.”

They all clapped and cheered while I slowly backed my way towards the kitchen.

Lizzie whipped the flipflop as fast as she could. I groaned and held my stomach.

“Too bad I missed my target.” Lizzie shrugged. “But that was only practice.”

“Practice makes perfect!” Mom laughed as she launched the pillow at me.

I knocked it out of the air, and stepped closer towards the kitchen.

Rebecca walked in front of me and picked up the flipflop. “I think we need to keep Joshy Woshy from blocking!”

“How do you plan on doing that?” her mom asked as she caught it.

Rebecca flicked the pillow back to mom. “Didn’t he have some stupid belt or something like that?”

“He does!” Mom clapped as she ran for the steps. “He has his lucky yellow one!”

Rebecca’s mom whipped her flipflop. Luckily I stepped out of the way just in time. It flew way faster than pillows.

The flipflop sailed above my head and landed back on the couch.

Rebecca patted my shoulder. “This is going to be fun, isn’t it?”

“This is horrible. I’m not doing it!”

“Do you want it worse?” Rebecca’s mom wiggled her ‘Egg’ sock in my direction. “I can shutty uppy you right now!”

Everyone laughed at my red face.

“You better stop complaining, or I’ll make it worse.” Lizzie picked up the pillow. “Plus, since you’re such a karate master, you should have no problems dodging and knocking these things away.”

“Think of it like practice.” Rebecca sat on the couch next to her mom. “Really fun practice.”

Mom rushed back down the steps with a handful of belts. She threw them on the couch, and everyone started picking over them like vultures as mom rushed over with my yellow one.

“Hands behind your back!”

“Mom, this is ridic—”

“Not another word.” Mom put her finger on my lips. “This is Lizzie’s wish. You lost the coin toss because of your bad luck. Plus, we’re helping you train.”

She walked behind me and tied my hands behind my back.

“And that’s your lucky belt.” Lizzie smirked. “You’ll probably dodge every single one.”

Mom plopped down next to Rebecca. “Okay, who took Joshy’s green belt?”

“Me!” Rebecca raised her hand and laughed.

Lizzie patted mom’s shoulder. “I think we should all wear our colors on our heads. It would look so cool.”

“Great idea, honey!” Mom plucked a brown belt and wrapped it around her head.

Everyone started wrapping their belts the same.

“We look so cool!” Rebecca’s mom said.

Mom walked to the middle of the floor and struck a pose. They all laughed and did the same.

Rebecca smacked her butt and wiggled it as she winked at me. “Ready to get your butt hurt by four hot girls?”

I stared at Rebecca’s butt, and curled over as my stomach exploded.

“Got him!” Rebecca’s mom laughed. “Come on, Joshy Woshy, you can do better than that.”

Mom walked over to the shoe rack to get more “ammo” as Rebecca flicked the flipflop back.

Lizzie whipped the pillow, and I kicked it out of the air.

“Good job, honey!” Mom dropped the shoes onto the floor in front of them. “I knew my little karate master could do it!”

Rebecca took a few steps back, so she was behind the rest of them, and whipped her sneaker at me.

I jumped out of the way, and it smashed into the wall.

“Hey! Not so hard!” Mom glared at her. “Don’t damage my walls.”

“Sorry.” Rebecca picked up another shoe.

Lizzie tossed her shoe up in the air and caught it. “Maybe if he didn’t wiggle around like a little weasel, your wall would be safe.”

Rebecca’s mom laughed. “Okay, flipflop coming up!”

She whipped it at me. I raised my knee and knocked it out of the air.

“Great job!” Mom raised her shoe, ready to throw it.

“Ew, mom! Stop swinging that thing around!” Lizzie held her nose. “It reeks!”

Mom opened it, sniffed the inside, and shrugged. “Smells normal to me.”

“Because you’re used to it!” Rebecca’s mom sniffed her flipflop. “I’ll probably need new ones too. Look at the dirty footprint on these babies!”

“We’ll have to go shoe shopping.”

Both moms whipped theirs at the same time. I dodged the flipflop but got smashed in the ribs with mom’s sneaker.

“Ouch! Half points for Joshy Woshy!” Lizzie laughed as she threw her sneaker.

It smashed my shoulder.

“More like a third.” Rebecca chuckled as she stood on the couch. “Now dodge this one!”

She threw a slow one. It landed on the carpet, I barely had to lift my foot as it rolled next to me.

“What a clunker.” Rebecca’s mom reached down and grabbed her other flipflop. “You have to make it count.”

She whipped it as hard as she could. I jumped out of the way.

“Great one, Joshy,” mom said. “That one would’ve gotten you in the eggs if you didn’t move.”

Everyone giggled as Rebecca’s mom stomped her foot.

Rebecca smirked at me and began lifting her shirt. I stared at her stomach, and watched the shirt creep slowly up her body. I saw the pink of her bra.

I got hit in the chest. It stung, and I stepped from side to side, trying to stretch my chest out.

“That’s another failure,” mom said. “You didn’t even move that time! Come on, honey, you were doing so good. And my shoe was easy!”

Rebecca’s entire bra was showing. She lobbed her sneaker at me—I didn’t even see or hear where it landed.

She wiggled her butt and started sliding down her pants. She wasn’t wearing panties.

I saw the faintest sign of her…

My vision blurred as I fell to my knees.

“Ouch!” mom said. “Great aim, Lizzie! Right in the eggs!”

“Those egg magnets you put on there really helped!”

Both moms raced over to see if I was okay.

Mom placed the foot-pillow on the floor and slowly pushed me down.

“Honey, are you okay?” Mom rested my head on the pillow.

Rebecca’s mom rubbed my back. “Lizzie sure got you good. You were doing so great up to that point.”

Mom started scratching my head. “You did pretty good. Didn’t he?”

Lizzie walked over, kicking a couple shoes out of her way. “Yeah. Wasn’t that great training I thought of? It wasn’t even punishment.”

“You’ll get your black belt in no time!” Rebecca was fully dressed as she kneeled down next to me.

“Whoa,” Lizzie said, “let’s not get ahead of ourselves, he barely dodged anything.”

Mom rubbed my back and picked up her shoe. “Well, I probably shouldn’t have used the magnets. Those are my secret weapons you know!”

“Mom, I told you, those things reek!” Lizzie knocked it out of her hands. It landed near my face.

Mom nudged it closer to me. “Josh, do they smell?”

I groaned into the pillow and gave it a little sniff. Still smelled like Aunt Nikki.

“You see? He’s not complaining.” Mom continued scratching my back.

“He probably thinks they smell like roses.” Lizzie and Rebecca laughed. “His brain isn’t working correctly right now.”

“Yeah,” Rebecca said, “I think I read somewhere that’s what happens when you get broken eggs.”

A dirty flipflop was shoved in my face.

“What about these babies?”

I whipped my head away, but they followed me.

“Oranges!”

Everyone laughed while Rebecca’s mom stood up.

“Well, I do use orange lotion every day.” She tried to pinch my nose with her toes. “You have a good sense of smell.”

I jerked my head away and tried rolling over, but mom’s knees were blocking me.

“Come on, Joshy Woshy, smell my mom’s foot!” Rebecca giggled as she peeled off her mom’s sock. “Does it smell like oranges too?”

Mom rolled me onto my back and started tickling me. I laughed and tried escaping as the bare foot kept trying to press on my nose.

“I’ll stop tickling when you smell it!”

I stared up at Rebecca’s mom, towering above me. She looked enormous, and I felt like a little ant. She wiggled her toes, then slowly began lowering her foot.

My groin exploded and I gasped, curling directly into her sole. She pushed my head back down.

“Lizzie,” mom said, “what the hell did you do that for?”

Lizzie pressed her foot in harder. “I wanted to make sure he wasn’t faking it this time!”

Rebecca laughed. “This time we know he’s actually smelling her foot.”

The toes curled around my nose, pressing down slightly.

“Still oranges?”

I groaned and nodded as everyone laughed.

As soon as the foot left, a sneaker was pressed on my nose and my groin exploded again.

“Still smell good?” Mom ground the opening of her sneaker down.

I took in a huge sniff.

Lizzie laughed. “I told you, his brain just isn’t working right. Scrambled eggs, scrambled brain.”

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