New Relationship and Busting Potential

[Joshua Kirkpatrick]

Hey guys,

Hope the new year is starting off to a great start for everyone. In the vein of life-changing/exciting things, I have just started a relationship with an awesome girl and have resolved to finally express my ballbusting desires to a relationship partner. I've read a little bit about how to introduce the fetish and understand that patience and not moving too fast is ideal, but still just wanted to see if anyone had any situation specific advice. So far there are a couple indicators that I may have found a great busting partner (in addition to a great partner in general).

1) First off, when we were laying in bed once and just talking about anything, I jokingly implied that was going to tickle her and she said something along the lines that "If you do that, just be prepared for a nice kick in the nuts" and she lazily put her foot hovering over my crotch. I know it wasn't a lot but to me it was hot as hell. She was so nonchalant about it, it was awesome, just like a matter of fact consequence that she sounded perfectly fine with executing. Unfortunately I was too nervous to pursue anything right then.

For more context, we have also just had heavy make out sessions so far, nothing super sexual yet (though things are headed that way), and I'm wondering if I should wait until after we physically are more intimate before I introduce my more deviant desires.

2) She loves the idea of play wrestling. I don't quite know how we got on the topic, but while texting she said that she finds the idea of play wrestling to be really attractive (not least of which is that it'll most likely lead to heavy make out things). I figure this may be a good opportunity to entice her to go for the groin but don't want to seem over eager or "trick her" into hitting me. I was thinking more along the lines of taunting/edging her on, and then if she hits, say something like "Is that all you've got?" or something like that

Not sure if this is ideal, and I want to be able to follow up without scaring her off, but yeah, just figured I'd ask the community at large to see if anything in similar situations had worked/had advice in general for introducing ballbusting to a partner.

Sorry for the novella and look forward to any and all suggestions!

Best,
Josh

[tsm89]

Lucky you! I think you're well on your way if that was her response on her own without any prompting from your part. Best thing to do is dare her and then tickle her! And I'd bet you now that you won't have to do anything to make her go for your nuts when you guys do wrestle. If she has an opportunity, I bet she'll go for it all on her own.

[volcan51]

your story its so similar to mine, i was with my girl, first date, i hate to wait so i go straight for the kissing, and she said to me ¨do you really want to kiss me? look where my knee is" ( she has a clear shot for knee my nuts) i keep going teasing her about how she threaten my billions of childs. In third date we already were talking about fantasies, 

As advice i think i was a bit obvious to my girl, mentioning martial arts classes and self defense, perhaps you are also giving signals to her. I would be more straight and open, looks like she is not a sadist, she just want to please you and give you exactly that perfect ball shot you have wait so much.

[Smack My Nuts]

I totally don't believe in the "ease them into it" approach.  I recommend just being honest, especially in this case since she's clearly shown that the idea of going for the balls doesn't worry her and because being a little rough doesn't worry her (since she likes play wrestling).  Just do some play wrestling with her and then tell her that she's allowed to go for low blows and that you'll find it a turn on if she does.  Odds sound good that she'll go for it, and if she doesn't, I would be really, really surprised if she was bothered by the suggestion.

I think that there are girls who are going to be bothered by the idea whenever and however you suggest it and girls who won't.  Better to find out which you've got sooner than later.

[FatSmurf]

Like others have already said, being honest and straight forward is your best bet despite how uncomfortable or frightening that sounds (I know, I've been there and the idea of saying out loud that you like it to someone can be terrifying but also a huge relief once it's out there). You really don't want to attempt to manipulate the situation into letting her know that's what you want without actually telling her. That can lead to confusion and misunderstandings, and you don't want to start your relationship off with poor communication.

My suggestion is wait until things do become sexual between you. Once sex has been introduced to a relationship an intimacy has been established where usually you can open up and be personal with the other person. The way I introduced my first girlfriend to it when I was a nervous teenager was to show her a video. We had already started watching porn together to get "ideas" so one day we started discussing what sort of videos where our favorites to watch. We had already had some pretty kinky sex so I said I liked videos where guys get hit in the nuts for fun and showed her the Brother Love video with Carmen McCarthy. I really can't recommend that entire video series enough as a great introduction to ballbusting. It's enough like regular porn that it won't weird her out and it also usually has the guy encouraging the girl along and her starting off apprehensive. Your girl watching that can relate to the dynamic between the two in the video rather than watching something where the girl is completely controlling and demanding.

My other suggestion is to get into a conversation about what sort of things she's into. While thats good to know as it is, it's likely she'll ask you as well. Wait until you're talking about sex, or even while you're having sex, and ask if there's anything she's really into or wants to try out so that you guys can have better sex, expressing that you just want to do whatever you can to make sure she has the best time she can during sex. She may have a few fetishes of her own that she's nervous about bringing up. She might say something mild like she enjoys having her hair pulled, so ask if there's nothing kinkier or wilder that she has wanted to try. If you convey that your open and willing to try whatever she wants, it's likely she'll return that open-mindedness.

Good luck, and remember that all those worst case scenario you're probably worried about almost certainly won't happen. You'll be much happier when it's finally out there and off your chest.

[tsm89]

Yeah, well said by everyone else that's commented. Wait until there's more trust and intimacy. Then work it from different angles too. My girl was initially not into busting me so I'd suggest it every now and then when there were opportunities but one of the best things I ever did - we realized I was a bad snorer when I sleep and I told her that she could hit me, punch me, or even wake me to get it to stop. This worked for maybe a week or two until one morning she was so mad that I wouldn't stop snoring despite her efforts. So I said hit me in the balls, I bet that would do the trick. Her response was one of reluctance but a few days later, apparently she tried it when I was snoring and it worked. I don't remember feeling anything as it didn't wake me but her attitude towards busting me changed remarkably! So there's an idea for all you guys out there!

[Paul Baker]

Hey Josh and everyone else who's got the same question.

I agree with the other replies in that its best to bring it up while you're being physical and still learning each other's preferences 2nd or third base will do if you're asking each other a lot of questions. I've introduced my preferences to 4 new girlfriends over the past 3 years and its all been successful, since we each want to make the other happy. So don't worry she probably wants to see you happy, but the "worst case scenario" is that she'll be concerned about hurting you (probably a small risk based on your story).

Being a biologist, when she asks what feels good to me I say that I'm wired a little differently, so I've got more pleasure receptors in the nerves of my testicles, so pressure feels good up to a certain point. I've gone as far as drawing a graph if she thinks its fun to learn about (pressure x axis, sensation y axis, plotting pleasure and then pain increasing as pressure increases). After explaining if she's concerned about hurting me I suggest an experiment. Start squeezing slowly increasing the pressure, and I'll tap once when it feels good, and a second time when I'd like you to stop. No chance of hitting too hard, and she'll have a very good understanding of my preferences.

hopefully at least on of those methods will help someone

Don't worry you're going to be fine, and you have a great flattering support of "I also thought it was really hot when you joked about kicking me in the nuts for tickling you."

Have fun, be open with her, and she'll open up to you so you'll both know how to keep each other happy

[Joshua Kirkpatrick]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I really appreciate the ideas and considerations, most of which I would not have been able to come up with on my own. In terms of an update, if anyone is interested, we recently started to get intimate and, again things look promising.

First off, during her first time feeling me below the belt, she of her own accord after a little bit went low to massage my balls. She was definitely nervous about hurting me as she was very, very gentle, but I still think this is good as she really did it of her own accord which is awesome and in my experience, not always a common move.

Most encouragingly however, we were laying together and, whenever I am being purposefully annoying, she fake slaps me very gently on my cheek. During one time I told her that I was scared she was going to hit me in the groin (she had moved her knee suddenly), to which she replied "Oh no, that would be mean. Unless you wanted me to do that." I M pretty sure that she was not joking about that.

I think this is all good news for moving forward and introducing her to being a little rougher the next time we are intimate, just talking about it and whatnot. It sounds like she's very respectful naturally so she might not go for it if her own accord, say during a wrestling thing, but also pretty open minded in terms of intimacy activities. Will definitely try and ask her to hold/squeeze tightly, kind of just a natural extension of what she was doing, and working from there.

In any case, just an update for anyone who was perusing and had any lingering interest. I'll be sure to report back any exciting developments if/when I have the balls (pun intended) to bring up my pain-oriented preferences.

[tsm89]

I could almost guarantee my gf said those exact same words to me at one point. And I couldn't bring myself to say yes, mostly because I really wanted her to do it on her own. Instead I really pushed being playful and teasing her, trying to goad her into doing it. I'm pretty sure my first response to her was "ha, I bet it wouldn't hurt" which slowly turned into "ha, I bet you couldn't hurt me" which turned out to be one of the magical switches in her mind as she responded with "challenge accepted" and gave me the lightest tap ever haha! She's come a long way since then. And I've lately found that smacking her in the crotch works great for goading her into busting me. So there are some ideas for you, good luck!

[playfight]

During one time I told her that I was scared she was going to hit me in the groin (she had moved her knee suddenly), to which she replied "Oh no, that would be mean. Unless you wanted me to do that."

well, that was it, it is easy u should just say i want. Even if she does not bust you in that moment and ask WHAT u can start laugh and no harm. I understand you, i was shy about it when i was young but with some girls u have just one short period when it is possible to be busted by her, maybe u broke up tomorrow or something else. It is not so big thing like u think now, especially for her, just kinky guy, not big deal even if she decide she do not want to try. It is maybe smart not to be open about it in first few days or week just to make connection and she see all good sides of you so now it will be kinky for her not weird.

You need to have balls if u want girl to kick them :)

Good luck