KITG Men, How is your self-esteem?

[smallball mcghee]

Im trying to understand the psychology behind ballbusting and other FEMDOM fetishes. I know for me, my confidence is sorta low and i dont feel that im good enough for alot of woman. The thought of these women busting me out of rejection is very hot. But it is just as hot having a GF do this to me. 

I was just wondering if alot of guys involved in Femdom stuff have low selfesteems?

Or what is your thought on how your ballbusting fetish started?

[3dk1tm29uk1v2]

Ok, I suppose? I am not realy as much into femdom, or busting out of rejection as I am more into ball pain as foreplay to get me worked up for some good sex. I kinda wonder almost if it is kinda like the old Vikings with the berserker rage, where they would beat themselves, and slap themselves to get good and angry before battle, lol! 

[smallball mcghee]

Yea for me its much more of the humiliating aspect. Power over me

[Michael B]

 If u remember "40 year old virgin", everyone tells him his problem is that he "puts the pussy on a pedestal". I'm gonna guess most guys here feel that way about females, and thus would have fairly low self-esteem.

[smallball mcghee]

I put it on the pedestal

[Michael B]

I absolutely put females on a pedestal. I know that they're the superior gender, and i often feel not even worthy of being in their presence. Even the girl just hadning me my food at the drive thru makes me feel that way.

 

[Ballistic]

Interesting question and I think thee is quite a bit of recent science actually!

In many species, the level of testosterone is directly correlated with the social status of the organism. Also, in some species, including humans, testosterone levels vary based on events such as competition and especially victory (which raises testosterone) and defeat (which lowers it).

I think it's interesting to think about the fact that the gonads are, of course, the primary source of testosterone in men.  People  who think of themselves as lower down in the social hierarchy may be more prone to fantasizing about defeat that directly effects their testosterone levels, i.e. harm to their testicles. Such an act will directly lower their social status. 

Also interesting how many women feel a sense of power from doing so. It actually makes perfect sense as it immediately raises their social status compared to the de-testosteroned male. 

Curious to hear people's thoughts. 

By the way, I have pretty good self esteem, so it's not always true!

[smallball mcghee]

For this reason, i am trying to quit bb. Im 20 years old and never been with a woman. Ive been told im good looking but my lack of confidence and shyness kills my chances of getting women. Im tryinng to rewire my brain to stop thinking this way and feeling lesser to females. Yes ballbustingg is one of my favorite things and it brings me great SHORT TERM happiness. But i gotta start thinking LONG TERM. I dont want to continue my days thinking im not good enough

[J S]

I don't know you, so I can't claim to be able to help you out on this front, but here's some unsolicited advice anyway.

I doubt your BB kink is the source of your feelings of inferiority. The two may well be connected, but getting rid of a symptom won't remedy the cause.

Now, that's where it gets tricky. The causes of low self-esteem are incredibly varied, and you're the only one in a position to know or figure out what's throwing you off kilter. One thing I can tell you, from having known many, MANY sexually frustrated twenty-something men, is that you've got to let the virginity thing go! Don't think about it. If you dwell on it and let it take over who you are, you will have one hell of a time getting a girl. It matters only as much as you let it. Stop worrying, deal with your other hang-ups, and that "problem" will resolve itself.

You don't have to answer any of these here; just food for thought. Do you know why you feel "lesser"? Do you feel that way about people in general, or just women? Is there anything that you particularly dislike about yourself? Physique and fitness level? Social status/job prospects? Looks? In contrast, what do you like about yourself? Any particular skills or areas of strength? Do you show off your strengths to others?

Also relevant: how do the people you surround yourself with feel or act? Are they in the same boat?

The problem with self-image issues is that they're hugely self-perpetuating, and tend to become vicious cycles, up or down. If you feel good about yourself and project that in how you go about your life, people will react to that. If you're confident, people will trust you and create opportunities to further validate and build that confidence. If you're chipper and fun, they'll enjoy chatting with you and you will leave the conversation more chipper than you went in, and carry that to your next encounter.

It works the other way, too. If you're a debbie downer, people will treat you as such. If you view yourself as inferior or unlikable, it will come out in your behavior and demeanor. People will key on, and will behave in a way that will validate that negative opinion of yourself. This makes it worse, and you carry that with you to your next encounter. So it goes.

[J S]

My self-esteem is usually pretty high. Probably too high some of the time. I'm just a pretty happy-go-lucky guy.

Then again, I think I'm coming at BB from an entirely different angle than you. I'm not into the femdom, rejection, or ballbusting-in-anger/disgust. It's more of an exploitation of vulnerability, dirty move type thing to me, and I find that hot.

[Smoo]

I have to agree with you here and your above post.  For me, BB isnt about the embarrassment or humiliation (I find it to be neither) but about the feeling of the bust and the mental awareness around that fact.

[3p8pl75j3t7lh]

My self esteem is low, I think that is why I like bb. Its attention from women, even if it is in a rejection type of way

[Wimpy Guy]

Perhaps low self esteems is major reason to be dominated.

Personally I feel a bit like a girl... and I like myself, my all body and when I think about body pain like busting crotch, belly punching, kicking - it makes me horny, sexy...

But i'm not into narcissism totally (ofcourse a bit of it I have :p), I like keep a distance to myself (for example loughing at yourself). I hope my english is understandable enough ^.^

Cheers all!