The best man gets kneed.

It’s been a while since I posted a story for the site, so it’s time to write another one, I think I’m due.

On a cool February Sunday afternoon, my husband and I were attending the wedding of one of his very close friends. Hubby was a member of the wedding party and was off doing his groomsman duties so I was going “stagette” for the day. In the course of the long afternoon and early evening, I found myself at the hotel bar and ordered a little white wine. There were various sports channels on the TVs above the bar with a few college basketball games and the Olympics to help occupy my time. I also started a conversation with the bartender about the college games and the current college basketball season and the upcoming March Madness Tournament. I was seated for a while, engrossed by the Olympics, the basketball games and the conversation. Out of nowhere, a dear friend of the family (and best man at the wedding) came from behind me and grabbed my waist in an aggressive manor and shook and tickled me and of course white wine flew everywhere. All over me, all over the bartender and all over the kind people sitting next to me… it was a mess. I turned around and saw the Best Man smirking and holding back his laughter. He found it pretty amusing and I guess it was unless you’re the one wearing a glass of sticky white wine all over you. I happened to be sitting on a swivel bar stool about three to four feet off of the floor. I placed my hand on his back in between his shoulder blades. I used his back to pull and swing the chair around from my twelve o’clock and nailed him in the balls at my five o’clock position calling him a few choice names as I went into action. As I propelled myself around, I raised my knee up to meet his groin and landed a pretty decent hit. My knee caught him by surprised and justice was served. Looking back on it now with a smile, that must have been so humiliating for him. Just being kneed in the nuts like that and while holding such a prominent position that day as he did and in the public eye. Once my knee smacked him in the balls his eyes popped out with shock and pain. His body doubled over on impact and he let out a nice loud “UUUFFFFFF” as the air rushed out of him, he then leaned against the bar with one arm and held his tender area with the other while moaning a few expletives on how “His package” was hurting. After about 30 seconds on the bar, he stood up all red faced with pain and embarrassment and trying to gather composure in front of everyone. I couldn’t help myself, I giggled and then kissed him on the cheek and then laughed as I sat back down at the bar to order another glass of wine.

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Comment by Anthony on May 1, 2020 at 5:04am: All these years later I still love this story! Love reading your wonderful stories!!!

Comment by Willie on April 6, 2014 at 9:10am: Great story - and keep keep fighting the good fight. There are so many balls that need busting!

Comment by nolizards on March 28, 2014 at 10:05am: I always love how your rub in the embarrassment with a kiss... so cute.

Comment by KingKiller on March 23, 2014 at 1:05pm: Best story is best.

Comment by greeneyedsusan on March 18, 2014 at 6:52am: @ Karch, I've actually been asked that question a few times in my chats here...This took place well after the " Best Man Speech "

Comment by Karch on March 13, 2014 at 7:51pm: : D how did the best man speech go after that?

Comment by CC on March 12, 2014 at 8:20am: I love how all of your stories have you rubbing salt in the wound. I'm sure that kiss on the cheek stung just as much as the knee. :)