Karate Class Supplies: Part I

James had signed up for a sports class during his first semester in college called “Karate 101”. When he registered, he was given a course syllabus which stated, “For those taking this course, you must see the athletic trainer for your karate outfits, including pants, robes, and belts. Females shall be fitted for a properly sized sports bra with adequate padding. Males shall be fitted for an athletic supporter and protective cup.” James wondered how he was going to be “fitted” for an athletic supporter, but he had time to kill, so he decided to wander to the trainer at the sports complex.

There, he found the studio. He rang the bell at the counter, and a girl with the name tag “Jenna” came from behind the desk. “Hi, how can I help?”

”Umm, I’m here for supplies for the karate class?”

”Okay, sounds good! Come on over to the fitting rooms!” James stepped over to the curtained area and followed Jenna to the back. He was motioned into a stall, and Jenna came in with a tape measure. She measured his chest, stomach, waist, and outer legs. She gave him various pants, belts, and robes to try on, and when he found what seemed to fit, he was starting to pack up his belongings when Jenna asked, “Hold on, we need to get you fitted for a cup.”

Embarrassed, James stopped packing, his cheeks turned pink, and he stuttered, “Oh, right, almost forgot.” He certainly hadn’t forgotten, but he really wanted to avoid discussion let alone a “fitting”. “Hey, listen, do you really think it’s necessary?” Jenna raised her eyebrows, but she smiled and laughed.

”I mean, I guess I’d ask you the same thing! Have you ever been hit in the jewels before?” she asked while staring at his crotch. James again shifted uncomfortably, aware that she was staring. Of course he had, he thought. He did have a younger sister, after all, who learned from a young age just where it hurt and who thought it was all a fun game. Not only that, but he’d been struck several times from friends and sports.

“Yeah, of course I have. I just... didn’t know what a fitting even entailed.”

Jenna explained, “Well, you have two options. The first is you drop your shorts right here, I take a look, feel around, and get you properly fitted.” WHAT?? He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. That seemed completely ludicrous, and it must have showed on his face. She smirked and said, “That, or the second option is we start with the smallest cups we have, I kick you in the nuts, and once you have a cup on that causes the least amount of damage, we know we hav a winner.” This was, pardon the pun, nuts. He’d never heard of such a thing.

”Wait, why can’t I just try them on myself and take the one that seems the best fit?”

”Well, no offense to you boys, but you all think or say that you have the biggest packages, and frankly that’s just not true, so we’d quickly run out of our largest cup sizes. Then those with the actual goods would be stuck with cups that were too small.” He thought about all this, at a loss for words.

”Okay, then, well why do you have to kick me? That just seems cruel!”

Jenna smiled and said, “Look, either I kick you a couple times now and we find the right size, or you go home with the wrong size, and guess what, you take a few dozen shots to the balls during the semester with the edge of the cup just crushing your testicles over and over again. And trust me, this is a co-ed karate class, and these girls would just love to exploit an already-known weakness.” James thought about this a little more.

”And... you do this often?”

”Oh, yeah, this is my work study job, and frankly this is probably my favorite part. Who doesn’t love an excuse to kick boys in the balls several times a day?” He was stuck. Either he got kicked in the balls several times, or he had to go through the embarrassment of having her look at his junk. What to do...

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