Time well spent

I think I don't blog often because I don't have enough things to say. Well, I've learned that's not true. I have a lot on my mind all the time and I finally think it's time I shared some of it with anyone who cares to read my rambling thoughts :)

Join me!

Lately I've been in a really great mindset. I chalk it up to a number of factors, not the least of which is my incredible girlfriend who sustains and champions me every day. It was she who gave me the courage and the conviction recently to chase a dream that didn't end up working out. I am of course talking about my dead and failed Kickstarter campaign. You know what, it is of no matter, because it taught me a really valuable lesson. You have to pursue what you want, or you're guaranteed never to get it.

I see a lot of posts and threads online in the community written by guys that want to be busted. These posts often come across as whiny, and I can understand why. A lot of people feel disenfranchised or powerless in the face of their fetish and the options afforded them. Vanilla dating is much easier than finding someone to kick you in the balls. Or at least that's what I used to think when I was younger.

Back then I forced myself to take the initiative and meet people for the sake of meeting people. I got out of my shell and I made myself into someone that I would want to be around. I met a ton of really interesting people. Punks, Emos, Goths, Kinksters, Professionals, Models, Exotic Dancers, Multimedia people like me, and a lot more. A lot of those relationships didn't grow or remain, but some did, and some even led to the best ballbusting play-dates I've ever had.

Somewhere during a string of really bad relationships, I forgot how to take that kind of initiative. I became timid and weak and I treated myself like a victim. I can empathize with those hopeless posts because I was there at one point. I felt like my life was no longer in my control and like I was reacting instead of acting.

Then I dumped some people and got back to being happy. I firmly believe you have to learn to make yourself happy before any person or event can do it for you. This won't slip into psychology talk, I just needed to say that.

So now that I am with someone who loves me for all that I am, and whom I can love with all my heart in every way I want to, I am emboldened again to really take control of my life. You can do it too.

To every guy that has ever asked me how to get busted, I can say it's not as hard as you're making it out to be. Get out and meet kinky people! Meet tattoo artists and piercers! Go to punk shows and metal shows and shows that endorse counter-culture. Find people that don't like the status quo and be a good friend to them! Concentrate on being trustworthy, honest, genuine, fun and sympathetic. Put yourself in other peoples' shoes and let yourself be honest with the people you cherish the most. Help people and let them help you. Sleep isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be, so when folks are sitting around late at night chatting, don't leave because you have obligations in the morning. It's then that we talk about what really matters to us, and those are conversations that will help your spirit grow into what it needs to be.

What does all this lovey-dovey stuff have to do with getting kicked? Well first off you need to realize that getting kicked is one of the least important things in life. When you put it on the back burner, you'll see that other people, when they know who you are and what you enjoy, will bring it up FOR YOU. The best sessions I've ever had were with counter-culture girls who were my friends and confidants. They trusted me, I trusted them and we had fun together. You also need to be open to playing out other people's fantasies. Learn how to spank someone hard and accurately. Learn how to choke someone without endangering their lives. Learn how to pull hair without *really* hurting their scalp. A lot of girls have these relatively simple kinks and if you're the kind of guy that has kinks of his own it's a great idea to learn about every other kink that exists and do some research into it. If something "isn't your thing" MAKE IT YOUR THING! You'd be surprised how changing your eyes or your perspective can make something arousing. One thing I've learned is that helping to fulfill someone's fantasy is ALWAYS rewarding.

First and foremost, realize you have control over your life. If your girlfriend won't kick you, don't sit around complaining and feeling cheated. Don't CHEAT on her either! Don't sulk and don't play the victim. If getting kicked is that important, then it behooves you to respect her wishes, and talk seriously about it. If you need to, part ways. Also, don't pretend or lie to yourself that BB isn't that important in your life. If you're a member of this forum, then it's a part of who you are and you owe it to yourself to be honest and admit it.

So, knowing you have control, take risks! Take chances! You'll fall on your face TONS of times! Get up, dust yourself off and get back out there. Learn everything you can. Meet everyone you can. Practice ballbusting on yourself so you'll have a decent tolerance by the time someone really wants to kick you. And don't ever commit the sin of being too afraid to approach someone. The worst that can happen is they'll say "no". Other people will say "Yes" and I promise if you're a good person who is committed to getting what you want and giving what others want as well, you'll find more people saying "Yes!" than not.

If you have questions or need specifics, e-mail me at knavebb at hotmail. I'll reply to every one, like I always do. Thanks to everyone that has helped me on this forum and others. I hope to give some of that back :)

xoxoxox

-Knave

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Comment by Iris on December 3, 2012 at 12:29pm: just taking those first few steps is really hard, but once you start, it's gets a lot easier.

Comment by charles stone on November 9, 2012 at 11:46pm: Just get yourself a good domme. It is awesome!

Comment by Andrew R on October 17, 2012 at 7:14am: There was an Oz kink fest recently that I failed to go to. I feel that I am naive / new and not part of the scene. But how do you become part of the scene? That was a great chance - I have read on-line about a couple of places where like minded people get together - as you said - you've got to do it. What is there to lose? Apart from our balls? Joking. I'm sure everyone is sensible with limits.

Comment by Knave! on October 11, 2012 at 3:43pm: Thanks a lot y'all. Let's all make ourselves into the best busters and bustees we can be :)

Comment by this person on October 11, 2012 at 3:42pm: Could not have said it better. Knave, you are awesome. I've had quite a similar experience in my lifetime and I'm sure others have. This is really one of the best things anyone can do for themselves.

Comment by mike smith on October 9, 2012 at 12:38am: I always thought it meant "quite fucking true."

Comment by Shelby on October 8, 2012 at 8:21am: QFT is an expression of agreement and support, where the user stands behind you and one of your statements. I think it stands for Quoted From Truth.