Tequila, Testicles vs Toes!!! (My 60 yard field goal)

[greeneyedsusan]

Last summer (2009), one of my good friends, Ashley and I paid a relaxing visit to a local pub after a nice day at the beach. It was a Wednesday so the pub wasn’t crowded at all, just the Bartender, three other guys at the end of the bar and the two of us. Ashley and I decided to go out on the dance floor and do a little innocent dirty dancing. While we were on the floor one of the three guys at the end of the bar walked over, the one that was in the worst shape sober wise. He worked his way onto the dance floor, he was so inebriated (*_-) and stunk of booze, he muscled his way in between the two of us. He then started rubbing his ass in my crotch and then walked over and started rubbing his crotch on Ashley’s butt. Ashley turned to me and said "this one is yours; if you don't take it I'll do it." The guy had no clue what that was about, he turned to me like I wanted him. I looked at him blankly then I swung my foot up like i was kicking a 60 yard field goal. You know how the sac sticks out a bit in front of the crotch? Well my foot just hit that, HIS TESTICLES!!!!! The top of my toes connected with his balls and my foot went up through his balls and nearly to his chin. If I was another inch or two away (2 – 5 cm), I would have missed. All he was wearing were flimsy board shorts; he had very little protection against the Pumas i was wearing (similar to the ones pictured below).

The guy just dropped face first and then he curled up into a ball on the dance floor. The look on his face was priceless, he actually became quite sober instantly it seemed. Two seconds later he was in the middle of the floor and started to cough and spitting while in the fetal position, I thought he was going to puke on the dance floor. His friends gathered him up and brought him outside. About five minutes later one of his buddies came in and paid their tab and bought us a round of drinks and told the bartender that he was sorry for his friend’s actions, he said "my friend becomes an asshole when he gets drunk on Tequila." I notice the bartender became very friendly with me, I think I turned her on ;)

[Wynne]

Just thinking how that kick landed brings a smile to my face, it's a very vivid image for me.

[Rec9121]

wish i couldve seen it

[Elaina]

I really, really enjoyed reading that.

[Beaten13]

Well done!

[soccercleatscrush]

That would have been a dream come true to have been there to see that! Next time I am in an Atlantic City bar I can only hope that it is one NJ bar that you might be in and do a repeat performance of that kick

[greeneyedsusan]

I'm actually not a Hun, I'm from New Jersey.

[Sydney Marie]

Hot story, cute shoes.

[Nasty Nicole]

Mmmm, great story Susan.

[Jessika K]

I remember you telling me about this last summer, i see everyone else enjoys it too.

[Tyler McNaughten]

OUTSTANDING!