Tequila, Testicles vs Toes!!! (My 60 yard field goal)

[greeneyedsusan]

Last summer (2009), one of my good friends, Ashley and I paid a relaxing visit to a local pub after a nice day at the beach. It was a Wednesday so the pub wasn’t crowded at all, just the Bartender, three other guys at the end of the bar and the two of us. Ashley and I decided to go out on the dance floor and do a little innocent dirty dancing. While we were on the floor one of the three guys at the end of the bar walked over, the one that was in the worst shape sober wise. He worked his way onto the dance floor, he was so inebriated (*_-) and stunk of booze, he muscled his way in between the two of us. He then started rubbing his ass in my crotch and then walked over and started rubbing his crotch on Ashley’s butt. Ashley turned to me and said "this one is yours; if you don't take it I'll do it." The guy had no clue what that was about, he turned to me like I wanted him. I looked at him blankly then I swung my foot up like i was kicking a 60 yard field goal. You know how the sac sticks out a bit in front of the crotch? Well my foot just hit that, HIS TESTICLES!!!!! The top of my toes connected with his balls and my foot went up through his balls and nearly to his chin. If I was another inch or two away (2 – 5 cm), I would have missed. All he was wearing were flimsy board shorts; he had very little protection against the Pumas i was wearing (similar to the ones pictured below).

The guy just dropped face first and then he curled up into a ball on the dance floor. The look on his face was priceless, he actually became quite sober instantly it seemed. Two seconds later he was in the middle of the floor and started to cough and spitting while in the fetal position, I thought he was going to puke on the dance floor. His friends gathered him up and brought him outside. About five minutes later one of his buddies came in and paid their tab and bought us a round of drinks and told the bartender that he was sorry for his friend’s actions, he said "my friend becomes an asshole when he gets drunk on Tequila." I notice the bartender became very friendly with me, I think I turned her on ;)

[bustmynuts]

hot and love the pumas very sexy and a girls enjoying his pain even hotter 

[Jared]

This posts and the others by Susan are some of the best recounting of personal experiences to be found on the site.  

I'm glad they cycled back to the front page so I was reminded to read them again!

[micmac]

@BrentTaylor

... and a few more things add to the range of fabulous traits in the story. It in total is one of the kind, making wonder, whether the originator is truely female. Undoubtfully it satisfies what males want to read. I don´t deny its entertaining quality (I am male), but don´t assume it to be such real in all details - and otherwise it would loose this quality for my perception. Obviously I hold the conviction, that beeing aware of what will be real does not necessarily mean, something in our area here must lack or loose in entertainment quality.

[Willie]

Awesome story and a well deserved kick in the balls!

[greeneyedsusan]

Fox and Wolf, I would totally love to see this turned into a classic action cartoon : )

[Fox & Wolf]

Great Story! .....Would make a great cartoon.  :)

[Marvin]

You probably kicked his balls to the end of his ball sack and up above his dick.

[Jessika K]

still a classic 

[Reijo]

hmmm... bartender was a girl... I would love to meet you, but not make you mad, just get kicked ;)

[Antoine D'Ursonelli]

Do you remember what song was playing when this happened?? It'd have been the icing on the cake if it was the Pet Shop Boys tune Domino Dancing: "All day, all day, watch them allllll fallll down"