Rethinking and Rebranding Ballbusting Part 1…

[dvhour (Site Owner)]

Image credit: Fox & Wolf [We miss your iconic and meaningful contributions to the community]

Rethinking and Rebranding Ballbusting Part 1

to be continued...

UPDATED 12/25/19

JING N KAT FOOT PLAY SERIES 1 & 2

This past summer my play partner and I presented a 2 part series on foot play at a notable kink conference in central Canada. Series 1 - “Silky, Sensual & Salacious Soles”: dealt with bathing, sensation play, hosiery, massage and outercourse. Series 2 - “The Art of Tamakeri & Denki Anma”: dealt with dominance and submission and rough-body-play using the leg and foot, the focus, ballbusting and trample.

Series 1 - “Silky, Sensual & Salacious Soles, had a very high attendance, we got rave reviews about our eroticism, our playful and fun chemistry and all the wonderful information that we imparted. Folks definitely wanted more. My partner and I were honored and pleasantly surprised by the turnout and response. 

Series 2 - “The Art of Tamakeri & Denki-Anma”, had a very low attendance, though, it was quite early in the morning and we were competing with a very popular rope play demo from an out of town guest. Fair enough!!! The folks who did attend were quite awed, surprised and got lots out of it.

RESPONSIBLE & PRACTICAL RESEARCH

During our three months of research and exploration on the topics, both my partner and I were moved by all the new and useful information at our disposal. I personally found the BB research to be especially humbling and therapeutic. It was quite the challenge to match my actual memories, wisdom and knowledge with the available history addressing BB or its practical and rational medical/health explanations. The breadth of this kind of public workshop has not been attempted for educational purposes – a lot of logic and love went into its preparation.

BEING MORE APPROACHABLE & ACCOUNTABLE

Here is what I know… It is rare for either sensual foot play or rough-body foot play to get mentioned or highlighted at kink conferences, workshops, parties or events. Not saying they are never covered, I’m merely saying that as a package we never see them associatively combined in public spaces. For example, Ballbusting is almost always seen as an unrelenting hardcore kink. I think for many of us, there is a colorful array of flavors of BB ranging from sensual play to brutal play. What we need are more responsible, knowledgable and fun practitioners out in public Kink-Safe-Spaces to make our kink more accessible and approachable. 

BALLBUSTING & THE PATRIARCHY…

Males… please never be offended when I use this term, I am after-all male myself. I’m not aiming to appease women or cater to some kind of male inferiority complex, I’m merely stating the reality that we live in. ALL human beings are brainwashed by patriarchy taboos and myths about “the almighty balls” – about how we must protect, cherish and be gentle with balls ALWAYS – yet at the same time we are told that balls are the ultimate in toughness and balls make you strong and significant as a male. I feel that societal views on balls is overrated, misinformed and sadly misplaced. Don't get me wrong, there are very real and scary dangers associated with rough ball activities, but social norms and values put balls on an oddly unique pedestal which warps the human perspective and puts BB on the far bizarre fringes beyond other more dangerous, questionable and unsanitary kinks partly because of this patriarchy view… We need an intervention!!!

BALLBUSTING GETS A BAD REP…

The majority of imagery and videos that showcase Ballbusting often undermines the nature of our community and terribly misrepresent us! Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for all that stuff too, there is just too much of it and it overwhelms our beautiful and wonderful community and gives off a perception of negativity.

On top of that there are online/offline imbeciles [trolls] ie. BB harassers… I’m not talking about you Joe, Wu, AW, Wheezy, Donald, Damien, Some Brown Guy or other BB content providers of this site… I’m talking about those fellows who do questionable and nefarious activities that often gets lumped in with BB... or the savages who immaturely chide or provoke women who have hurt or wish to hurt balls. These imbeciles make us look like a bunch of pathetic, dangerous and ignorant deviants of the worst kind. YES!!! Each of these F**KERS, need to be called out and wholeheartedly rebuked. These are not our people and anytime you see such ignorance online or in person, be sure to call them out. 

There is a difference: Don't REBUKE the BB activity... REBUKE the reckless behaviour. Also there is a human and civil way to call out such behavior without drawing attention to one's own kink. Always simply pose it as... "HEY!!! You give people who are into this a bad name... you make the web or the offline world a dangerous place when you behave like this you savage". 

Lastly, there is a lack of education, exposure and responsible participants in the ethos to counterbalance all the negative. Truly this site and the members here are one of the gleaming lights on the horizon but we need more people to be informed and to actively participate in helping this community to grow beyond our walled garden… We need an intervention!!!

BALLBUSTING IS A TERRIBLE NAME…

Here is what you need to know about me... I’m not a prude or a male with an inferiority or superiority complex. I am a humanist, a practical and deep proactive thinker and I have actively made genuine and sincere efforts to elevate the ballbusting community for close to twenty years… With that said, here is what I know... Every time the word Ballbusting is mentioned to new ears, thoughts of exploding or destroyed testicles is always what horrified, confused and disgusted people seem to imagine. The name “Ballbusting” is harsh sounding, it sounds finite and frankly its not really an appealing kink name when introduced! The same with “Cuntbusting” another terrible name. The word “cunt” reeks of malicious patriarchy misogyny… We need an intervention!!!

A BIGGER DISCUSSION ON RETHINKING & REBRANDING [added 12/25/19]

This thread is about rebranding and rethinking how we approach Ballbusting as a whole. This is part of a longer discussion and not just about renaming Ballbusting!!! Some of you may love the name and thats cool, nothing wrong with that... but, me personally, I'm going to start calling it "TAMAKERI": Japanese, for ball kicking, a fractional aspect of CBT and "DENKI ANMA": Japanese, for electric massage using the foot on cock and balls, another aspect of CBT. The main thing to note about branding is that even though the name may matter, it's the EXPERIENCE and PERCEPTION of a brand that really matters most… We need an intervention!!!

To be continued…

[volcan51]

It took me long but i think i finally got the answer.

First to begin BB its on an incredible place thanks to the work of you and people like you DVD hour, from bwing among the most extreme and cringe fetish it moves to something it appears regularly on movies and its something it can happen on the regular life like its the most normal thing in the world

First as to rebranding it comes the purpose. Where you see the potential of BB? As self defense? Its already there, not all but its frecuent self defense instructor (specially for woman) base its tactics on groin  attacks. Then a as a main fetish? its already there, just its to look clips4sale to note BB not only eated CBT and female martial arts as fetishes but also its close to the main page. Not as big as chastity or Footjobs (Footjob also grow to the point it can barely be considered a fetish) but its still an important presence.

To me the ultimate potential of BB its as a regular move on a woman dating arsenal. First of all Why not?  sex estimulation its based on the touch of sensitive areas, Going for the balls its at the same time an effective move to communicate with a lover, its tease and self defense at the same time, if any woman should go more for the balls than we guys go for breast. (its useless for our self defense lol). And second What its the woman suppose to do while the guy touch all her body while leading her to sex? Being most of the man body strong, i suppose can be really boring for a female as most of her touching doesnt cause any reaction.

So what can we do to improve? First, the urgent renaming comes to terms like "low blow" "cheap shot" "dirty moves". Although there are some woman that give a damm about that, for others may be a deterrent to use it except when it comes to self defense.

Not only is uninspiring, its a lie, we all here know a strike on the balls is any but low or cheap, its usually really carefully placed, aesthetically beautiful like even a novice woman put her effort and pride on do it well. Let alone movies. So maybe call it the noble shot, for our poor noble parts or because the woman look like a noble and the guy on the floor like a filthy peasent.

I  think dvd hour the word you want and chase is NORMAL, think the biggest obstacle to it its the acceptance of the defeat it means a woman gets access over our privates. Maybe we have tolerance or she hold back and we ended up stanted but that doesnt mean we didnt lose. The biggest obstacle to woman using bb its guys just cant handle losing to a girl. Even among bb guys the issue can be complicate. BTW that doesnt mean to sub, a guy can be a total top dog dom but still lose if a woman connects one good kick to the weakspot. And that its also NORMAL.

[2swollen]

I've always called it Ballplay. Have never made a big issue of it, just considered it a small part of otherwise fun and healthy relationships.  Once I got over the fear of being a freak, things became much, much easier.  Realized that the pressure I was feeling was internal, ie; self generated. 

And why would mother nature give the scrotum and testicles so many delicious nerve endings if she didn't mean for them to be played with.  And then we call them balls, and what do you do with balls? You play with them! Yes indeedy.  

From being fondled to being punted to the moon, the aficionado loves it all.

Favorite response  to being asked how I knew I liked being kicked in the balls... I just looked back at her and started to slowly smile.  She got it. And then she kicked me, so I got it.

However, there is a certain element that says that they want permanent damage, to rupture a testical, or be castrated via ballbusting. Craving real, permanent physical harm strikes normal society as nuts (pun intended), and most sane people will quickly back away from somebody who says that.

Sure wish some of the numbnuts who share our kink would talk about it as a fantasy, rather than an end goal.  You have no idea how many women would enjoy fucking with your mind while they are roughing up your nuts.  Its verbal, and mental.  Women get that, and they can roleplay the fuck out of it.  My wife's verbal is off the charts awesome, and she will occasionally beat the living daylights out of my balls, just to keep the physical somewhat in line with the verbal. 

So, with ballplay, start slow. Make it just a small part of your sexy and/or fun times. Focus on her having a fun and enjoyable time.  

[dvhour (Site Owner)]

@comrade &  @Allen Witts

"most of us into this make it more of a deal than it needs to. We're awkward, can be creepy, and can make the fetish and ourselves weirder than it needs to be."

Sick quote Comrade... I agree 100% BB men and women are so hardcore in the closet and make a much bigger deal then they need to. We all need to be more like the LGBTQ community and take some ownership and pride minus the parades, colorful flags and the coming out of the closet to the mainstream public haha. BTW that wasn't a swipe at the LGBTQ community its more like a level of respect and reverence, because our community simply is not able to do such a thing at this stage to mainstream public

Trust me I'm likely more paranoid than the majority of folks on this site AND I legit have a...public front facing presence and personality in my city. I DEFINITELY DO NOT want anyone to know of my BB persona or have any kind of BB attention associated with me... yet I run this huge site, I ran USBBonline and have enjoyed a very private and discrete kink lifestyle for over two decades with ZERO incident. If me having a notable public profile and someone with major paranoia issues and someone who has legit worry and concern bing ti...paces... then any member on this site can definitely do it. This is not braggadocio this is my aim to help encourage and empower each of you.

Good thoughts Comrade and Allen I appreciate your contributions 

[dvhour (Site Owner)]

@Zayn Thompson

Due to your question and others like yours, I've rewritten and adjusted the post. Basically its not about the name so much it's about rebranding and rethinking how we approach Ballbusting as a whole. But as I stated above I'm slowly going to start referring to it as Tamakeri

@volcan51 

I dig your brain stem sir regarding BB art and complexity. I also REALLY dig your description of Kingeri as a term. I used to do martial arts and never ran into that term but, why the hell not use it as a potential term!!! There are so many ways to say anything on planet earth so to give BB a new term and give it global meaning or at have this discussion to at least brain storm on new ways to rename BB is a good start and a good thing. I think Kingeri is a fantastic term. We are a HUGE and meaningful community if we initiate something in this community, we definitely can create interest and put a stamp of approval for the rest of the world [all ego aside, it is a fact] due to our global outreach, age of the community and relevance in the kink realm.

Generally speaking yes there are two extremes of men who can take absolute brutality and those who will crumble at the slightest touch and within that there are soooo many flavors of BB in between. But we should also mention the guy who fantasizes about BB but will never take a shot at all, EVER!!! Best left to fantasy. 

@Some Brown Guy

Yes many women don't want to hurt men, to the contrary, at least in my case most [not all] woman want to be dominated by me – part of it has to do with my look, part of it has to do with social norms and/or their nature, part of it has to do with unintentional stereotypes haha.

Here's the deal, almost always in some form or another if a gal likes me or into me, I usually can get her to do some form of bb with me. What I've learned is, its all in how you introduce BB and how and when you reveal BB to your partner. I do not dispute that it's not common or easy to get women to do BB but if you are creative and find a fun way to approach BB with them it's not hard. It can start with a simple foot massage or with both of you with your legs entangled in an impassioned kiss.

There are sexy and fun ways to introduce BB to a lover.... Sometimes you do not have a fluid bond relationship with someone and thats fine too, but again a simple foot and leg massage can lead to many possibilities if you present it in an approachable and fun way. Also it will help tremendously if you introduce gals who are already part of the kink community. It is my advice that each member here join FETLIFE or some local online kink community/group and find out what munches, events, workshops or parties that are going on in their actual community. 

Regarding educating women... hmmmm.... Recently, I met this submissive woman who was open to do foot fetish play with me but not ballbusting... I ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT BUST YOU... she said... i said ok, but as we were playing and being intimate doing all types of foot/leg massage and her putting a variety of pressure and doing all types of playful rolling with my cock and balls using her feet ... later admitted that she really really enjoyed our play ... I then said umm you already did ballbusting.. I deliberately did not try to trick her i'm just huge into leg and foot .play and she happened to enjoy what she was doing. Who knew but sometimes it's less about explaining or talking about it and more about showing by example. BB doesn't have to be brutal or rough it can be an erotic and sensual foot or leg massage...

[Allen Witts]

@Some Brown Guy I'm not sure it's really a matter of "too nice" honestly?  In some cases that can be the case, but often it's more about getting past their inhibition to cause pain/hurt somebody.  Once they can get past that barrier, I find a lot of people are reasonably open to it.

[comrade]

The problem folks who are into BB face is the same as any other people with fetishes face, i've met a good handful of people who are down with the fetish, who don't think its weird and even if they do are fine with doing it. However, most of us into this make it more of a deal than it needs to. We're awkward, can be creepy, and can make the fetish and ourselves weirder than it needs to be. 

I think the bigger thing needed is coaching our community and supporting our fellow BBers who struggle with getting their needs fulfilled, helping them in personal issues etc. One thing I do think would help is if our members in general across the world, not just in this site, had safe spaces to share and help them work through their issues. I know I wish I had that as a high schooler who was awkward, even as a young adult who was awkward and only in the last few years became really secure and capable of really being good at dating and going out and stuff like that.

[volcan51]

So bb its complex, quite a deep art, 

There its two types of guys ones who like knights want to prove himselfs worthy taking huges amounts of pain. Other who drop easy, as you dvd hour say has so many flavors.

the name bb probably thanks to americans and they reckless shorting of everything. In my opinion focus mostly on like the fun aspect of it in demerite of the sensual and even sexy part of it

I like the japanese name more kingeri (kick to the golden balls) it reveals more of the vulnerability of the area

and the gravity a woman uses that kick, like can be a light woman but with a powerful weapon

[Zayn Thompson]

Do you have any suggestions for a new term to replace 'ballbusting'?