Post-Op

[Shannon Johan]

When I tell my girlfriends my hubby has big balls, they’re always like, “Yeah, my husband/bf’s are so big too!” And I immediately think, yeah ok sure of course you’re going to say that about him. Then the inevitable hand gestures start as they begin trying to describe just how big his nuts are, and I’m laughing my ass off on the inside thinking: yeah ok, Stacey, you don’t even realize how small Mark’s “like a really big grape”-sized balls are. I swear women will inflate their men’s egos bigger than the guy will!

Anyway, as for my hub’s, they are permanently sore/swollen/bruised lately. Oh he got the vasectomy, FINALLY!!! I fucked him in the back of my Expedition in the parking lot of the clinic because I was so turned on at the thought of him shooting blanks now!!! A funny thing about that, though: when the Dr tells you no sex or ejaculating for at least 3 days after a vasectomy, you should heed that advice. Oh, my dear sweet hubby was a trooper and said his nuts were still numb and he felt no discomfort the whole time I rode him like I was trying to break a wild bronco, but fellas let me tell you...his balls swelled up like 2 grapefruits and I swear to God I thought his sac was going to split open for a over a day!!! In fact it took a little over a week for his balls to return all the way down to their “normal” size.

But the strangest and most surprising thing about this whole ordeal? In the literal years it took my husband to get his chords severed, what began as punishment for his blatant irresponsibility, grew into full on pleasure on my part of busting my hubby’s balls. So, no, the swats, slaps, punches, knees, kicks, squeezes, tugs, flicks, thumpings and bitings have not ceased just because he got a vasectomy. I get a head rush like I cannot explain from seeing my dear sweet hubby doubled over and moaning when I inflict pain upon his precious, now astranged-family jewels. And is it ever painful!!! According to my husband, either the vasectomy itself or the trauma I caused his balls immediately afterwards by grinding and bouncing in his lap while he fucked my brains out right outside the clinic, caused his testicles to be even more sensitive now than they were before! Which is really bad news for him and extremely entertaining for me!!! Excuse me until next time, he’ll be home soon and I want to show him our Halloween costumes ;)

[Ryan moorehouse]

Is it true that you are left with a 'blue balls' feeling in your balls post vasectomy?

[2swollen]

It took about two years for my nuts to settle down post snip. Now the missus calls them 'excess baggage' and the beatings continue.  Let us know what your halloween costumes are!

[Liquid Metal]

Yeah, I had a vasectomy, and for some reason even a few years later, the one nut has much lower pain tolerance than the other one, and neither of them can take as much as they used to!

[NatWest]

Some people will read this and feel sorry for your husband. I read it and I'm jealous of your husband. Thanks for sharing.