Most Painful Bust of my Life (True - Recent - Story)

[Berkey]

So, up until two weeks ago, I had two traditional stories that came to mind when I thought of the most painful busts I've experienced. First, my first bust, which I wrote a story about here that is actually entirely true, despite being in the fiction section: basically, 15-year-old me was pretty sure getting kicked in the balls didn't hurt, I got into a confrontation with a 16 year old girls soccer player, things ended badly, I got floored. The other competing experience was my first real sexual encounter with my sister in which she basically just grabbed my naked balls and began squeezing for a good too minutes - obviously also really painful.

The kick two weeks ago surpasses both of those by a long shot. I go to a major American university, and we have a good competitive soccer team apparently (not that I follow it). So, I was at a party and came across a girl who turns out to be a senior on the girls' soccer team, and I began talking to her. In the course of this conversation, I mysteriously began to irritate her (was a little tipsy, and the following events more than justify why my memory was a haze). Next thing I know, I find myself in a repeat of my first ballbusting experience ever: a soccer player demands that I apologize for something I've said or she'll kick me in the balls, I stupidly (in this case, drunkenly) tell her to go right ahead, that I will never say I'm sorry, and she looks puzzled for a minute. I even spread my legs (having not been busted in a while, I decided I wanted a little bit of action, and I assume she'll give me just enough to knock a douchey freshman to the floor).

Nope.

I looked up for a second right before the kick to see that coy, confident smile girls get before they know they're about to drop you, then I remembered, Wait, this girl plays soccer competitively in college...

The kick was instantly the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I have absurd stories about busts that have actually happened to me - 2 minute naked squeezing sessions, 200-kicks in an hour, repeated stomping, etc etc. But no, a 22 year old competitive soccer player punting my nuts into oblivion was truly the worse agony I could possibly imagine up to that point. I instantly fell to my knees, looked up to see her smiling and laughing, and then blacked out. Worryingly, enough people fell asleep at this party that nobody noticed the scrawny freshmen blacked out clutching his now gelatinous balls in the doorway.

So, story didn't end there. That experience, two weeks ago, was the most painful bust of my life up to that point. In less than a two week period, I managed to surpass it.

I decided I hadn't had enough and I wanted to test a theory as to whether soccer girls actually kicked harder than any others. So I contacted a girl I knew from high school (who used to jokingly kick me a lot) who goes to my university and met with her to do this experiment. We decided she'd put me through a spectrum so I could measure a soccer girl's average kick versus a random girl's kick, and I could estimate what level of kick strength the competitive girl hit me at (because it knocked me out, so I assumed it was strong).

So she began the spectrum at a kick of "10% strength"... oh my God. A "10% strength kick" was already far, far worse than the average girl's kick - it was worse than my sister's most powerful kicks (which are already incredibly, agonizingly painful). For the first few kicks, this girl began trying to offer me a way out, saying we should end it and that I wasn't looking too good. But I insisted we continue 'for science'.

Once kick 50% rolls around, I realized that this competitive soccer player was actually going easy on me, and that it turns out that soccer players should just not do ballbusting, because this girl knocked me out with a kick of around half strength for a soccer player. At this point, having realized how weak my balls really were, I tried to back out but my friend wouldn't let me! She insisted I complete the experiment like I said at the beginning, and no matter how many times I begged and pleaded, she just kept saying that things would be over quickly (which leads me to believe that my second conclusion - all soccer girls are sadistic sociopaths - is equally true).

By the time we got to 90% and 100%, I felt like I was actually going to die. She thought that the upper levels were pretty amusing (watching me moan and roll on the ground), but the final two were honestly just insanely painful. I still loved the sense of weakness, especially as she leaned over me and rubbed my back to try to encourage me that there's "Only one more left" (she meant kicks, but she may very well have been referring to my balls). For some reason, she didn't knock me out, but the final kick was the most agonizing experience of my life - that was a week and a half ago and I can still feel them aching...