Basketballs busted

[Kristen Bananas]

i am not usually comfortable posting a story like this for everyone to see but this one is just too good to keep to myself.  :)  

okay, so my bf's family is pretty close on one side and there are a few cousins that i see at his parent's house or other family functions a few times a year.  one of them is a younger cousin named sarah, who is 18 in high school.  sarah is pretty girl, who is a little tall for her age and skinny.  she is somewhat of an athlete and plays soccer and has tried field hockey and other sports.  she is a sweetheart, but can be a little shy and i really want her to gain some self confidence.  sarah saw me ball tap my bf once and i could tell by the look in her eye that she seem intrigued.  it wasn't a very hard tap, but it was enough to make him double over and let out a quick moan.  she said, "i cant believe you just did that!" and i asked her why?  i tried to explain to her that it is her right to hit boys in the balls when they are being rude or disrespectful.  she smiled but said she couldn't do that.  i didn't want to give up on her but didn't want to make her uncomfortable either, so i let it go until i next time i saw her.  but we ended up at the same point.

but then came along this weekend and the perfect storm!  lol.  i knew that we would be seeing sarah this weekend at my bf's parent's house for a get-together.  also, my bf had done a couple of things that really, really annoyed me.  and to top it all off, sarah's boyfriend had cheated on her with one of her friends and they had broken up.  i told her that she should really kick her ex in the nuts, and she said, "i know".  i was happy for her.  we had a little discussion about male vunlerability and i convinced her to take a practice bust on my bf.  she giggled and shook her head, but i could tell she was interested.  i asked one more time and she said, "are you sure?".  of course i was.  and the best part was i already had a plan on how she could do it.  sarah and my bf usually played a little basketball at his parent's house when the weather was nice.  well, yesterday was a beautiful day and i told sarah to challenge him to a game. i am not that great of an athlete and usually just watch.  now keep in mind that my bf is almost double the size and age of sarah. and he uses his physical strength to his advantage when they play, specifically he puts his back to her and almost pushes her to get close to the basket.  it annoys me, because it doesn't seem fair.  but he always tells me that he is trying to toughen her up.  okay big guy. 

so, his family had all different stuff set up for the party, including a volleyball net, grills, etc.  my bf finished playing a game of volleyball and that is when sarah challenged him to a game of basketball, which he accepted with a smile (he wouldn't have been smiling if he knew how it was going to end up).  lol. the basketball pole is located in their driveway, which is on the side of their house away from most of the people.  that was a good thing because i am sure sarah would not have been comfortable doing any nut-cracking in front of a crowd.  sarah and i had talked about the best way to get him, with a little advice from a friend :), and decided it should either be a sneaky knee when they are facing each other trying to grab the basketball or a swift kick between the legs when he had his back to her and trying to push her around.  we decided that the kick was the way to go. lol.

so the game started and my bf let sarah have the ball first.  my bf was acting all cocky and not really trying to stop her and let her take a shot, which she hit !  she was happy and she got the ball again.  this team he tried harder and managed to steal the ball from her.  he scored a basket and had a big smile on his face.  he got the ball again, and this time he turned his back to her and was doing his butt pushing move to get close to the basket.  i made eye contact with sarah and knew this was her opportunity.  but she didn't do anything !!!  i thought she was going to completely back out and my bf scored again.  he had a big smile on his face and it made me mad.  why was he so proud of beating his little cousin in basketball?  so this time, when my boyfriend was dribbling the basketball back to where they start playing, i quietly told sarah, "just think of steve".  steve was her ex.  and her demeanour changed.  she almost got a little bit of a scowl on her face and just then my bf started playing again and turned his back to her. 

and then it happened. it was so perfect because i was watching from the end of the garage so i was facing my bf and saw sarah behind him.  then i saw sarah take a step back and everything was almost like in slow motion.  i saw sarah's sneaker come up right between joe's legs and absolutely smash his package. it was a perfect shot.  even better, he was wearing shorts because he was outside doing stuff all day and i doubt they offered very little protection.  at least that's what his reaction seemed to tell. lol.  sarah's sneaker smashed into his balls and there was this strange "thwud" noise. his eyes completely bulged out and his hands quickly went to cover/protect his already pulverized nuts.  he stood perfectly still like that for a couple of seconds and we totally made eye contact.  he had a look on his face that was a combination of surprise, pain and a "help me" i am a lost puppy dog look.  it was priceless.  and then he just fell the ground.  and then there was the writhing and moaning.  he kept on making this, "oooohhhhh, ooooohhhhhh, oooohhhhhh" sound and was writhing around.  but the funny part that it was only his legs that were writhing around.  it was like he was trying to run or something while on the ground.  his back and his neck seemed to be a little arched back and his face was completely red.  and speaking of red faces, you should have seen sarah! lol.  she also turned completely red, put her hand up to her mouth but also jumped up and down a couple of quick times and was like, "oh my god, oh my god".  i was worried she was going to feel bad or something, so i quickly wanted to reinforce her and told her, "great job sarah!  what a perfect kick!"  she asked if he was going to be okay, and i said he will be fine and that it happens to guys all of the time.  the reality was, i probably should have told her that she didn't need to kick full strength, but it was obviously too late for that piece of advice.  lol.  my bf was on the ground and all of those muscles that he was using against her had turned to jelly, and along with his crushed balls was a crushed ego.

after a little bit, my boyfriend stopped writhing and i went over to give him a little comfort and rub his back.  he was definitely hurting pretty bad.  but i didn't want sarah to feel bad, so i kept on fooling around with her and saying stuff like, " you really cracked his nuts good sarah!  great job!" and laughing.  she seemed to be over the embarrassment and was in amazement of how effective her kick was.  and there was definitely a cute little smirk on her face.  my bf didn't seem to be able to speak very well and started spitting a little (seriously, that's gross).  he probably thought the worst was over but he was wrong.  because about a minute later, his aunt and other cousin came down to the driveway to get sarah and let her know they were serving food.  of course when they got there, they saw me kneeling down next to my bf and sarah standing over him, with him clutching his aching testicles.  she look confused and asked what was going on.  i saw sarah turn red again and i felt like she was about to tell her mom what exactly happened so i jumped in to save her and said the basketball bounced off of the basket and then hit my bf between the legs.  his aunt looked confused for about one more second and then she even smiled a little, i swear!  she was like, "oh okay, well then sarah, go get him some ice from the fridge downstairs."  my bf didn't want ice, and attempted to say, "no, i don't need it" but his voice was too weak.  i heard him, but his aunt couldn't.  so sarah left to get him some ice. his aunt told us to make sure he was okay and then we should come up to get some food when we were ready.  she then left i heard his cousin asking his mom, "is he okay? is he okay?"  this was sarah's little brother and he totally idolizes my bf.  he never saw him in such a weakened state. 

by the time sarah got back my bf was able to talk, but seemed way too embarrassed to say much.  after a few minutes, we had to help him get to a couch in their downstairs to lie down for a little bit (he refused the ice).  it was pretty awkward on the walk over there, so i broke the ice with a little humor and told my bf that sarah was just trying to toughen him up.  sarah laughed, but my bf didn't.  he insisted that we leave him alone, so we left him on the couch, pretty much curled up with his knees almost to his chest.  

sarah and i went back outside and bonded.  she told me she thought that was "so awesome" and she was going to definitely get her ex.  i was so happy to share a little lesson with her in girl power.  

[Chris Edgeler]

Wow, this story is amazing, I feel for Your husband in that situation, a full force kick from behind totally by surprise, looking You in the eye getting no sympathy knowing that You masterminded the whole thing. Must be scary being married to a ballbusting evil genius as she mentors.

[Kristen Bananas]

@mike smith  i don't know.  i don't have a good way to reach her and prolly won't see her again until thanksgiving.  but let's all hope she does !!!!   :)  

[nolizards]

This is so well described... Great job! Nice to see you mentoring a young adult! I hope you post more!

[mike smith]

Has she gotten her ex yet?

[Steven Howard]

Haha...Ouch ! I was kicked once while wearing those kinda shorts ! it felt like my balls went into my stomach !

[Lisa]

That was Awesome!

[Kristen Bananas]

oh, he knows !  : )

[giordy]

I really liked how you described your bf's look :-). I wonder if he knew it was you behind it...i bet he did

[KingMe]

Love this story !

[Katie]

Nicely done