Rebecca and Ryan Get a Show

Sorry for the length but worth the read when you have a few minutes...or read it in parts: Part I | Part II | Part III

Rebecca sipped her beer and sat back, slouching, like she was trying to disappear into the cushions of the heavily lacquered pine booth. She watched Ryan narrowly avoid his buddy’s fist as it slammed angrily against the Golden Tee machine, impressed at her boyfriend’s nimble reflexes despite the large quantities of alcohol consumed that evening – an evening she now wished would come to a swift conclusion. JT was clearly drunk which meant his generally blustering and pompous attitude was only going to get worse. How he and Ryan were friends was a mystery to her, especially considering Ryan never seemed all that excited when JT came back into town. But since that wasn’t often, Rebecca did her best to suck it up and power through when he did.

Ryan hit up the bar for another round as JT made a beeline for the restroom. She tried to catch his eye so he’d know not to get her another one but he never looked over. It’s not like he had to wait long since Devlin’s Dirty Dive didn’t exactly draw a crowd, Rebecca thought as she glanced around at the few sparse parties as Ryan slid a fresh mug across the booth and plopped down next to her.

“JT’s wrecked,” he said with a shake of his head.

“I can tell,” Rebecca replied coolly, hoping Ryan would take the hint.

“Pretty sure he’s been drinking three to every one of mine,” he continued, ignoring his girlfriend’s tone.

“Wait,” Rebecca said arching a brow, “are you not drunk?”

Ryan laughed. “Not at all. I’ve been practicing a little something you call ‘pacing’.”

“Huh.”

“I’m thinking about calling him a cab,” Ryan said, scratching his head. “That is – if you don’t mind staying out a bit longer. Just us,” he added, flashing her a sweet grin.

Rebecca straightened up as her heart thawed a little at the sight of his charming smile. She considered his offer. Though getting away from JT was her primary excuse for wanting to head for the comforts of home, the ache in her back was a close second. When she’d put on her bra earlier she thought it was just her imagination when it didn’t seem to fit right, but over the course of the evening her suspicions were confirmed. Her boobs were definitely bigger and heavier of late, and now, her back was paying the price. Still, she thought, it would be nice to have a bit of a date.

“Sounds great,” she said as movement from the far corner of the bar caught her eye.

Ryan smiled and then turned, following Rebecca’s eyes. He watched JT’s big frame strut toward them with just a hint of a weave in his step. He reminded Rebecca of a downhill slalom skier in the Olympics. When he got to the booth he grabbed his fresh beer and downed half of it in one gulp. Then, like a junior high boy, he said “Thanks” right through his belch.

The disgust on Rebecca’s face quickly turned to a scowl when JT blatanly ogled her tits – though, honestly, who could blame him? – as he took a seat. But just as quickly as his beer, JT’s attentions disappeared as he noticed the trim figure of a woman slide off her barstool. Though she was glad to have his lecherous eyes off her body, Rebecca still felt disgusted on behalf of the poor woman he was now eye-fucking.

She leaned over close to Ryan’s ear and whispered, “You better get him a cab soon because I’m this close to kicking his nuts across the entire bar.” Ryan doubted if the napkin under his beer could fit through the space between Rebecca’s index finger and thumb.

Laughing quietly he suggested, “I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you goad him into putting the moves on that lady he’s eyeballing instead. Ten bucks says she’ll do it for you.”

Rebecca brightened at the thought. “You’re on.”

“See something you like, JT?” she said in her sweetest voice, turning her attentions to the boorish JT.

“Fuck yeah,” he said gulping more beer. “Did you see that ass?”

Rebecca fought the urge to throw her own beer in his face. “You should go talk to her. When you were playing Golden Tee I swear she kept stealing glances at you.”

JT’s brow creased as he tried to process the news. “You serious?”

Rebecca nodded her head with all the enthusiasm she could fake. Draining his beer, JT then contorted his muscled body and practically popped out of the booth. He smoothed his shirt and black hair and ambled unsteadily over to the bar. Ryan leaned back in the booth and put his arm around Rebecca, letting the tips of his fingers brush lightly against the smooth skin of her breast. She leaned into him in return, wondering briefly if he noticed, like she had, the boost in size, before turning to watch the big ape make his move.

Before the woman could get to her barstool, JT spun around blocking her path. He flashed a white, toothy smile, and for a moment, Rebecca could see why JT did get his fair share of hook-ups, though it seemed clear to her that onight would not be one of those nights. Despite the woman’s obvious lack of interest, JT kept hounding her, refusing to take no for an answer. Eventually, her body sagged in resignation.

“I guess we were both wrong,” Rebecca said, noting the rejuvination in JT’s eyes.

“Huh” was all Ryan could say as he shook his head.

Then the woman motioned for JT to follow her, which he did eagerly, to the back of the bar, near the restrooms. She edged him gently against the wall as the man at the jukebox made his selection and walked off leaving them alone. She reached up, stroking JT’s square jaw lightly with her finger. Then she put her arms on his shoulders, running them up and down his massive arms as she whispered something in his ear. The smile on his face made Rebecca think she was lauding his thick muscles. It was enough to make her puke.

When the woman lifted the tight maroon skirt of her business suit high up her thigh, Rebecca felt her woman’s intuition loud and clear and she gripped Ryan’s leg. “Maybe it’s just me, but I think we’re about to see something special.”

“What?” Ryan sounded perplexed. “Looks like they’re about to make out.”

“Don’t think so,” Rebecca said coyly. “See how she pulled up her skirt?” When he nodded she continued, “She’s not coming on to him. She’s clearing room. In a skirt that tight a girl doesn’t haven’t very much in the way of range of motion. Just watch.” Sure enough, Rebecca’s intuition was spot on.

With her skirt hiked, revealing a slender thigh, the woman now gripping JT’s broad shoulders tightly took a small step back and then drove her knee into his groin. Judging by how fast JT’s knees hit the floor, it was evident her aim was dead on. Rebecca smiled watching JT’s face purple with strain as his body trembled in obvious pain. All the rage, confusion, fear and surprise swam like colors in a kaleidescope across his eyes and it gave her no small thrill to see it. For a minute Rebecca thought he might be sick, and although she didn’t want to see that, it would’ve confirmed the woman did a proper job busting his balls.

But it was the woman who sent a thrill into Ryan. Instead of walking away, she flipped her long, golden hair back to reveal a haughty smile – genuinely happy at the same time, too, he marveled – which gave her face a rather radiant glow. And the way she stood over him, one arm dangling languidly at her side while the other bent at the elbow so that her thin, bare forearm draped across her pelvis as her fingers rested lightly just inside her thigh. It was an utterly delicate and feminine posture and yet entirely savage in its mockery. To Ryan it seemed to taunt, “Did I get you here? Oopsy, did I make your balls hurt?” How many times had Rebecca stood over him in that exact way and for the same reason? A shiver of excitement shot through him as the image of Rebecca tucking a loose strand of her shiny, raven hair behind her pixie ear flickered in front of his eyes, replacing the blonde woman standing across the bar. He could see the full figure of his girlfriend, tranquil and at ease, as she stood over him with her triumphant, teasing smile. His next thought amazed him, and foolhardy though it might be, it was the absolute truth: if it meant seeing Rebecca like he was now, he would gladly suffer the same fate as JT.

When Rebecca turned toward her boyfriend to see how he liked the little performance staged for them across the bar, she was surprised to find him staring at her with deep longing in his eyes. She gazed into them, searching. A sheepish smile played at the corners of his mouth.

“Bec, that’s how you sometimes stand,” he conceded, redirecting Rebecca’s gaze toward the woman with a glance.

“After I bust your balls? I know,” she said happily. “Do you like that?” When he nodded lightly, Rebecca patted his thigh. “Good.”

“I want to see you like that soon,” he murmured dreamily.

“Oh Ry!” Rebecca gushed as her smile widened at the music to her ears, “I bet you will. It is always a pleasure to give you a hard knee in the balls – just like the one she gave to JT – and then stand over you, utterly relaxed, as you curl up so feebly at my feet cupping yourself in agony.”

Even though he was entirely familiar with and knew the pure misery of the agony she referenced, Ryan’s heart still somehow melted when Rebecca bit tenderly at her full bottom lip in obvious delight at the thought.

A low moan broke the tender moment and Rebecca and Ryan both glanced in the direction from which it came. JT was now curled up on his side and the woman continued to look down at him, smiling, still clearly relishing the pain she’d put him in. The moan only made her smile grow – if that was even possible. Ryan saw a few heads turn in surprise at the pitiful sound, but they couldn’t see around the wall from where it arose, so they quickly turned back to their drinks.

“Should I go check on him?” Ryan asked hesitantly.

“Maybe we’d better both go,” Rebecca cautioned. “I wouldn’t want you to be found guilty by association and end up on the floor, too.” When Ryan cringed, she added, “That’s my job.” And if Rebecca’s smirk wasn’t emphasis enough, she pressed her hand into his groin using his testicles as a springboard to stand. “Don’t just sit there,” she taunted leaning over him impatiently as he winced. He looked up at her and grunted before slowing sliding off the bench.

By the time they crossed the small distance to JT, the brief pain had abated and Ryan found his voice. “Excuse me,” he said gently, as the woman turned toward him, her smile shrinking but still evident. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s great,” she said in a sing-song voice.

“What happened?” Rebecca asked, feigning ignorance.

The woman’s eyes, as gold as her hair, sparkling with life, shifted from Ryan to Rebecca. “This lump here tried to pick me up and couldn’t get his mind around the fact that I wasn’t interested.” Shifting her eyes back to Ryan she added, “So I introduced his balls to my knee.” She held Ryan’s gaze, defying him to respond. Wisely, he kept his mouth shut and even managed to retain a neutral expression.

“Looks like it was a powerful introduction,” Rebecca quipped.

The woman’s golden eyes lit up as she laughed. “Honey, if you’re gonna do something, do it right.” She looked back to JT who was still curled up, though his trembling had waned to a mere quiver.

“Guess we should get him outta here,” Rebecca said, looking to Ryan.

“Wait,” the woman interjected, “you know this guy?”

Ryan sighed before admitting, “He’s an old friend.”

Crinkling her small nose, the woman looked at Rebecca. “What terrible taste in friends,” she said as if Ryan wasn’t standing right there. Rebecca raised both brows as if to say ‘what can you do?’ The two women stared at each other for a beat before simultaneously cracking up in a fit of giggles.

“Why don’t I buy you a drink,” Rebecca offered, “and we’ll let Ryan here figure out how to get JT home.”

“Sounds good to me,” the woman said, throwing forward her arm to usher them toward the bar. They strode off gaily, light and airy, completely unencumbered by something so unfortunate as testicles, leaving Ryan to deal with JT and the heavy lifting.

After trying to haul up JT’s massive frame, Ryan quickly realized there was no way he was getting him all the way through the bar. Pushing JT into a sitting position with his back against the wall, where his friend’s head lolled shamefully and hard enough that Ryan had to straighten him out again, Ryan walked past the restrooms and found his solution: the back door. He pushed it open and saw it dumped into an alley. He pulled out his phone and made a call.

The cab pulled up just as Ryan was dragging JT through the back door and the cab driver surveyed the scene. He jumped out, the cab rocking at the shift in weight, and yelled, “How drunk is he? Cause I don’t take pukers.”

Ryan held JT with one trembling arm and waved the cabbie over. “He’s not as drunk as it looks. I promise you he won’t puke.” Ryan considered this true true based on this simple logic: if the knee he took hadn’t made him throw up, nothing would. Even in the dull yellow light of the single bulb over Devlin’s back door, the cabbie could see the earnestness in Ryan’s eyes. “But he’s a fucking load, so do you think you could give me a hand?” He agreed and together they managed to get JT into the back seat.

“How’m I gonna get him out?” The cabbie asked, realizing the new problem on his hands much too late.

“Here’s the address you can take him to,” Ryan said, writing it down on an old receipt. “It’s his mother’s house. Just pull him out of the cab if he’s still a mess and leave him on the front lawn.” When the cabbie eyed him suspiciously, he added, “Trust me, it’s not the first time.” Then he pulled out a pair of wrinkled twenties and passed them over. “Will this do?”

The cabbie grabbed them and with a curt “yep,” hopped into his cab.

By the time Ryan got back inside, the women were already halfway through their drinks. Rebecca had picked up her pace considerably, he noted. She motioned for him to join them in the booth and he slid in, pulling the full beer mug toward him as he did.

“Ryan, this is Amanda,” Rebecca said merrily. “Amanda, this is my boyfriend Ryan.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ryan said. And then in a mumble, added, “I think.”

Amanda smiled, any trace of disappointment in his choice of friends vanished like JT into the night, and offered her hand across the table. “It is nice to meet you, too, Ryan,” she said warmly as he took her hand. “You and Rebecca are very kind to treat me. I was just telling Rebecca how my plans to meet a friend here apparently fell through.”

Something in the way Amanda said ‘friend’ caught Ryan’s attention. “A friend or a date?” He asked with a wry smile.

“Well, a friend for now, but maybe more or maybe nothing,” she added breezily.

Ryan just nodded and the threesome sat in silence for a moment. Was it just him or did the two women seem to be having a conversation using only their eyes?

Finally, as if Rebecca had received some sort of clearance, she filled Ryan in on what he’d missed. “Amanda is here for a conference and was supposed to meet her friend,” Rebecca said, employing exaggerated air quotes at the term, “but apparently he got cold feet. She met him the last time she was in town on business. She said they really hit it off but things were kind of left hanging.”

“That’s too bad,” Ryan said.

Amanda smiled at his genuine attempt at empathy. “Perhaps. Perhaps not,” she replied.

Ryan’s head pulled back in surprise. “What’s with all the cagy answers?” He wondered aloud.

Unable to hold it in, Amanda let the laughter flow. “Aw hon,” she said in between giggles that both coaxed a smile from Ryan and made him feel just the tiniest bit dense, “that’s just one of the great things about being a woman. We’re allowed to be cagy and mysterious. Gotta keep you boys on your toes.”

“That doesn’t seem fair,” he muttered, “or nice.”

Still a bit flush with adrenaline – and another drink in her system – Amanda turned things up a notch. “It probably isn’t nice and definitely isn’t fair, but,” she teased out the word using it like a tether, literally pulling Ryan physically closer as he leaned forward across the table. “It’s not the greatest thing about being a woman.”

Rebecca draped an arm around her boyfriend and leaned in as well, hoping against hope she was right about what Amanda considered the greatest thing about being a woman.

“And?” Ryan asked, cocking his head in a way that displayed a hint of impatience as Amanda left him dangling on her hook.

Amanda leveled her gaze at him and let a trace of smugness play on her face, running a measured finger around the rim of her empty glass. “Don’t you know?” She teased, causing Ryan’s brow to furrow in further impatience. “The greatest thing about being a woman is being able to kick a man,” pausing here, she leaned across the table so that her face was about a foot from his, “right…in…his…balls.” She leaned back and her exuberant and slightly wicked laugh echoed in his ears as Ryan felt the crimson of embarrassment creep up his neck, which Rebecca was now rubbing in a manner meant to be consoling, though the smile running all the way up to her eyes seemed to reveal a real lack of sympathy beneath her gesture. As a man, it rattles you to have your own weakness called out in such a bold and candid way by a woman, but the real embarrassment for Ryan was that he should have know what Amanda was going to say. Rebecca obviously had.

When Amanda’s eyes flashed toward her, Rebecca understood immediately. “Nah, that wasn’t too much for him. But even if it was, do go on. I am all ears.”

Ryan scowled at his girlfriend, not because she wasn’t right, but because he could answer for himself, he thought testily. But Rebecca ignored him, waving a finger for Amanda to continue.

For the first time, a twinge of uncertainty cracked the surface of Amanda’s confident airs, like she’d been in a dream world and now found herself dropped into reality. She looked around the bar and realized a few more people had wandered in – none of them her friend, though – and she suddenly felt a little too loud, a little too forward.

“Is this a little weird?” She asked, looking more to Rebecca than Ryan. “I mean, we don’t even know each other and I just launched into a diatribe on what a majority would consider a very awkward subject.”

Rebecca looked at her boyfriend but his eyes seemed suddenly fascinated by a chip in the lacquer of the table top. Maybe if I don’t say anything, they’ll let it drop, he thought. It’s not that the subject matter was really all that awkward for him – thanks to Rebecca it had become a regular part of life – but it was still uncomfortable when Rebecca got into it with other women right in front of him. It always felt like he was being ganged up on. He felt Rebecca’s elbow in his ribs.

“Is it too awkward or weird for you, Ry?” She asked in a manner that told him it better not be.

He looked at Rebecca and then Amanda, his eyes resigned. “As a guy, it is a rather uncomfortable topic. Even you have to understand that,” he said. Amanda conceded his point but Rebecca gave him a huge don’t-be-such-a-pansy roll of the eyes, eyes that instantly shone with pride when he added, “But, and this might be just as weird, it’s a subject Rebecca is very keen to talk about any chance she gets.” Amanda grinned as Rebecca nodded happily. “So actually, it’s quite fortuitous that we were all here tonight. Especially you, Amanda, since this isn’t exactly in the top one thousand places to have a drink for out-of-towners. Why did you choose this place, anyway?”

“I promise I’ll get to that,” Amanda said, holding up a finger, “but first I’d like to say thanks for being so cool about this. Maybe you’ll understand this, Rebecca, but it’s just that whenever I send a man to the floor, I get sent, too, – into another stratosphere. It’s like a runner’s high except way better. I feel this serenity but it’s not calm. It’s dripping with excitement and power. My body feels electric and tingly yet I’m completely in control of it. I always sense my own femininity heightened in those moments – it’s like I’ve only been pretending to feel like a woman, but this? This is what being a woman should feel like!”

“Amen,” Rebecca said, raising her glass.

“And it’s not just the sudden reversal of physical superiority, stereotypically speaking,” Amanda continued, “it’s knowing and demonstrating that a man doesn’t really control his own destiny. A woman does. He can strut and preen, show off or act like he’s the boss, but regardless of his smarts or his size – I mean, look at your friend, JT was it? He’s a load of a man – if, or should I say when,” she corrected herself with a light chuckle, “a woman chooses to crush his testicles it’s all over. His world is reduced to little more than a struggle to stay conscious. And the best part is, she can do it any time that she wants. Honestly, I wonder why men don’t wear cups twenty-four seven,” she said, throwing her hands in the air.

“For starters, they’re uncomfortable,” Ryan cut in. “Also, it’s not like women just walk around kicking guys left and right. Plus, we have reflexes. We can avoid your strikes.” His confidence in that last assertion wavered as Rebecca shook her head and sighed.

Before she could admonish him, Amanda countered, “You’re right, we don’t walk around kicking you guys but the thing is, we could. We show you guys mercy by not exercising our option to do so. You guys should really be more grateful we don’t. And as far as your reflexes go, you can’t avert us forever. You sleep. You don’t have eyes in the back of your head.” When Ryan’s head bobbed distractedly, Amanda took a guess at his distraction. “You know what I mean, don’t you. Has Rebecca kicked you from behind when you weren’t expecting it? She has, hasn’t she?” The way Amanda was rubbing her hands, like she was about to eat a delicious dish, made Ryan wish he could slide under the table.

Again, there was Rebecca’s elbow in his ribs. Ryan cleared his throat and put on a brave, but grave, face. “Yes,” he admitted. Amanda merely batted her pretty golden eyes, smiling and said nothing. Rebecca remained silent as well. His insides crawling at the uncomfortable silence, he felt he had no choice but to elaborate. “Maybe a month ago, Rebecca was out on a girls’ night and when she came home, she caught me flexing in the window of our apartment – my reflection just looked really good in the lighting,” he added defensively when Amanda rolled her eyes. “Anyway, she stole into the apartment and snuck up behind me. The next thing I knew I was on the ground, seeing stars.”

At this point Rebecca couldn’t stop herself from chiming in. “It was amazing. I had on these pointy-toed crimson heels, the curve of them so perfect for really doing some damage,” she said as Amanda nodded knowingly. “Anyway, I was a little tipsy and really feeling myself, you know? So there was no holding back. I swung my leg back high and kicked his nuts really, really hard. So hard.” Rebecca shook her head in disbelief at just how hard. Amanda’s smile resurfaced as Rebecca chuckled smugly at the memory.

“Wow,” was all Amanda could say as admiration filled her eyes. Noting her revery and the way Ryan’s color was quickly draining, Amanda knew Rebecca wasn’t exaggerating. “I wish I could’ve been there to see it,” she said dreamily.

“Do you like to see other women kick men?” Rebecca asked eagerly. “Because I sure do.”

Amanda laughed with gusto. “Oh yeah. I mean not as much as I like doing the kicking, but it’s always a thrill to see another woman really scramble a man’s eggs. My favorite is when a guy is really laying it on thick or being disrespectful and instead of slapping him, she simply rams his nuts up his throat with her knee.”

“Kinda like you did to JT!” Rebecca exclaimed as Amanda nodded. “My favorite is when a man tries to argue with a woman. Stupid right?” she asked as Amanda shook her head in mystified wonder. “He’s getting all hot and bothered, yelling, practically foaming at the mouth and she just calmly steps back and delivers a swift kick to his jewels. Argument over.”

“Oooh,” Amanda crooned, clapping her hands together, “And then she justs glides away while he has to lay there incapacitated with nothing to do but contemplate losing the argument and deal with the awful pain in his manliest organs! What about you, Ryan?” she asked, not wanting to leave him out of the conversation. When he looked up from his hands which he’d been fidgeting with, Amanda could see a bit of exasperation in his eyes. It didn’t deter her. “What goes through your mind when Rebecca ends an argument that way? And don’t tell me she hasn’t.”

“You know,” he began, “not every girl is as keen to rack a man as you two.”

“Too bad,” Amanda said with a touch of disappointment.

“They don’t know what they’re missing,” Rebecca offered.

“But what does that have to do with what I asked?” Amanda prodded.

Ryan laughed. “Nothing at all. Just an observation. A diversion if you will.”

“Nice try,” Amanda sneered. “But seriously, I am curious to know what goes on in your head.”

“Fine,” Ryan mumbled, acting disgruntled. “I’ll admit it. Rebecca has ended many arguments that way. In fact, I’m always shocked now if she doesn’t. When we first started seeing each other I used to get really pissed off at her and I’d sulk around for a day or two, especially if I knew I had right on my side. It was so frustrating because there really wasn’t anything I could do. In the moment it’s always all I can do to cope with the pain and then later, the whole thing’s already blown over. Plus I know if I plead my case about how unfair it was, she’ll just kick me again. Getting my balls kicked isn’t fun, you know,” he conceded when Amanda nodded approval at how Rebecca would handle his whining. “The pain is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s so utterly debilitating. Anyway, once I’d recovered enough to where the pain didn’t thoroughly occupy my brain, I do remember just seething and feeling so helpless. I used to imagine getting up and showing her who’s boss or punching her smug little face. But the truth was, I knew I was incapable to do so in my present condition.”

At this, Rebecca gazed at Ryan with a sad little smile. “You know, Ry, I always wished you had tried to lash out, to try some physical retaliation, just once.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” she replied, and then with a matter-of-factness that scared Ryan to the core, she added, “It would’ve been the best excuse to break your balls.” When his mouth gaped in horror, she clarified. “I don’t mean literally break them like castration or something. Why would I do that? Then I’d never get to make you hurt anymore. No, I mean I’d kick you until your balls were so swollen, so bruised and so terribly painful that you’d have to spend a long time in the hospital. And I’d make damn sure to let everyone know that it was a girl who put you there because she busted your balls.” Ryan’s grimace looked as intense as if she’d actually carried out her threat.

Even Amanda grimaced on his behalf, though there was a twinkle of a smile in her eyes that conveyed her endorsement of Rebecca’s threat. “Whoa, hon, that’s pretty harsh,” she said, giving Ryan a concerned glance, “but I won’t lie, I’ve felt the same way.”

The table quieted and Ryan wondered, if like him, they were all now picturing him in a hospital bed with a mountain of ice packs strapped to his groin. He shuddered.

“Well,” he started, his voice thick and gravelly like he was trying to swallow something down, “like I said, I didn’t, a-a-a-a-nd, I sure as hell won’t now.” His attempt at humor worked and both Rebecca and Amanda chuckled. Feeling a little better, he continued. “Anyway, Rebecca used to tell me it didn’t matter whether I was right or wrong. The only way a man could win an argument against a woman was if he didn’t have any testicles. But, of course, then he wouldn’t be a man – or at least a complete one. If a woman couldn’t win the argument on logic then she had to exercise other options, and I’m pretty sure we all know what that means. The best thing a man can do, she says, is to let the woman kick him and, eventually, get on with life. It took me a long time to reach that point, but now that I have, there’s been a real transformation in what goes on in my head.”

Amanda leaned forward eyes blazing with interest.

“Obviously it’s still nothing but the pain that registers in my brain at first, but then as it subsides, I find myself thinking about how loving it was for her to do that.” He smiled as Amanda’s eyes widened. “No, really, it is loving. Before things can get too bad or we say something our relationship may never recover from, she simply slams her boot in my balls and it’s over. She walks away feeling good, and while I certainly don’t – walk away or feel good – at least I haven’t destroyed our relationship.”

“Oh wow,” Amanda sighed. “So you’re totally okay with Rebecca wrecking your nuts. Amazing.”

“Oh no,” Ryan corrected. “I’m not okay with it by any means. I accept it and don’t retaliate but it still pisses me off. It’s still embarrassing as hell to have a girl crush your nuts, especially in public, and I still feel the bite of shame as any macho swagger I might have had is taken from me. But’s that just life,” he mused with a what-are-you-gonna-do shrug of his shoulders. “Rebecca has helped me to discover that this is what it really means to feel like a man. When I’m curled up at her feet and my balls feel like they’re gonna explode and I’m literally seeing stars, struggling to breathe while she just stands there looking smug, well, that’s when I feel most like a man.”

The honesty in Ryan’s eyes caused Amanda’s mouth to gape. She started to say something but then it just gaped again. She blinked several times, clearing her head and finally found her voice. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard any man say something like that. It’s almost too incredible to be true,” she gushed. Looking at Rebecca she asked, “Is he for real?”

Rebecca, her eyebrows raised in surprised at her boyfriend’s candid honesty, shook her head. “I think so. I mean, it’s taken a year or two to get to this point, but I believe him.”

Now it was Amanda shaking her head. “Hon, you got yourself a keeper.” Rebecca smiled, clearly pleased and in complete agreement.

“Maybe that’s my problem,” Amanda said after a beat. “Getting back to your earlier question of why I’m here. It’s because I haven’t found a man with your wise outlook on life,” she said to Ryan, her eyes perplexed and a little sad. “I have a rule. If I go out with a guy or, in the case of all these business trips I take, hook up for the night, it always ends with me busting the guy’s balls. I always leave my number if I’ve enjoyed myself but until now, I’ve yet to hear back from any of the guys.” She stopped abruptly as Ryan laughed.

“Those guys are lucky then,” he said, squeezing Rebecca’s hand. “This one does it before the date even starts.”

Rebecca, now laughing, as well, added, “It’s true. On our first date I met Ryan at his place and when he answered the door I promptly kneed him in the balls. You should have seen his face,” she said between giggles. “But I knew if he still wanted to go on the date after that, then he was worth the effort.”

“Huh,” Amanda said seriously. “That’s a really great idea. I might have to steal that from you.”

“By all means,” Rebecca said with a wave of her hand.

Amanda took another sip of beer. “So tonight I was supposed to meet this guy Gil that I hooked up with a few months ago when I was in town. Really great guy, though older than my usual preference. But he was great in bed, TMI sorry,” she said quickly, “and he took my good-bye kick beautifully, crumbling to the his knees in slow motion, his face screwed up terribly in a way that let me know his balls were really hurting. Then he passed out.” Amanda licked her lips at the memory. “Needless to say, I was surprised to hear from him. But totally excited. He’s the first guy to ever reach out and he suggested we find a place where none of our colleagues were likely to end up. Clearly this place is about as local as you can get. But I guess he got cold feet.” She sat back and Rebecca and Ryan could see the disappointment wash over her face.

“He didn’t text or anything?” Ryan asked.

“Trust me, I’ve been checking my phone,” she said while giving Ryan a ‘duh’ expression. Still, she dug into her purse and pulled out her phone. “See. Nothing,” Amanda said holding it out to him. “No need to pry,” she scolded, teasingly, when he squinted hard at the device.

“I’m not,” he laughed. “But I think I see your problem. You don’t have any signal.”

Amanda looked at her phone. “Shit, you’re right. What the hell?”

“Happens a lot here for some reason,” Rebecca said with a shrug of her shoulders. “It’s very spotty.”

“I got signal earlier by the back door,” Ryan offered.

“Hmm,” Amanda said, rising, “give me one second.”

Ryan took her absence as an excuse to gather a fresh round which he and Rebecca were sipping on when Amanda bounced back to them, almost skipping, with a smile wider than the room.

“Ha! I went outside and finally got some signal a few feet away in the alley back there. Sure enough, messages started popping up like popcorn. He has been texting all evening. Said he was sorry but he had to work late and then had to help a friend with something that took longer than he expected. He said he popped his head in Devlin’s about thirty minutes ago but didn’t see me at the bar so he left.”

“You gonna let him know you’re still here?” Ryan asked, hope rising in his voice. Maybe the addition of Gil would lead to a change of subject, he mused.

“Already did,” Amanda said, “and he said he’s just a few blocks away two drinks into drowning his sorrows at the thought of missing his chance with me. He’s on his way. By the way, thanks for the beer,” she added, lifting it in a toast. They clinked glasses and then Amanda admitted, “I’m kinda nervous.”

“Do you want us to leave?”Rebecca asked. “We don’t want to ruin your happy reunion.”

Amanda smiled at her gratefully. “No, it’s cool. Actually it’s nice to have you here.”

Ryan saw a tall figure enter, a classy looking guy with flecks of gray in his dark hair, and knew it had to be Gil. “I think he’s here,” he cut in.

Rebecca half rose to see over Amanda and the back of the bench seat while Amanda craned her neck around the side of the both. “It is!” Amanda said excitedly.

Before Gil could look around, Amanda was on her feet waving over to him. He smiled and Rebecca could see why Amanda would be into him, even if he was older.

“Hi Amanda,” he called, making his way over, “I’m so sorry I got caught up and that my messages weren’t getting through.”

When he reached the table, Amanda gave him a big hug, probably bigger than a second meeting merited, but she was happy and the alcohol had her feeling good.

Gil hugged her back and when she released him, he looked over to Ryan and Rebecca who were standing half crouched over the booth table. “I’m Gil,” he said, holding out his hand to Ryan.

Just as Ryan reached for Gil’s hand and started to introduce himself and Rebecca, he caught Amanda from the corner of his eye. Her mouth, smiling a second ago, was now set, her jaw clenched. He saw her brow now furrowed in concentration. Gil must’ve seen the surprise in Ryan’s eyes and he turned toward Amanda.

There was no time to react. As soon as his head swiveled Amanda’s foot, encased by glossy, cream-colored heels, slammed into his groin. He bent at the waist as his knees turned inward. For a moment his head hung and he grunted but then he raised his head, and with one hand held out palm up and the other holding the anguished parts of himself, he again apologized. “I guess I deserved that,” he said, between panting breaths. “I really am sorry.” When Amanda’s golden eyes brightened, he even managed a weak smile.

Slowly, red began creeping up his neck even as it bloomed on his cheeks as Gil remembered where they were and that there were two strangers next to him. He didn’t know whether to slink away in shame or apologize to them for having to witness that little bit of ugliness. He swallowed hard – pride was tough to get down, he thought – and looked over to the guy. It actually relieved Gil to see the grimace on the face of his fellow male. At least somebody can sympathize with me, he thought. But the ear-splitting smile on the woman’s face drained from his own any hope for goodwill from her. She looked pleased as punch about the situation.

Rebecca saw the confusion in Gil’s eyes as he tried to process her smile. She was about to say, “You’re right. You did deserve that Gil,” but then Amanda surprised her once more.

“Hey Gil,” she called sweetly, her voice sing-song. When he turned to her she kicked him square in the balls again, this time smiling with pleasure as she did. She heard a few feminine hoots from across the bar and realized her first kick must have drawn some attention. Her smile brightened even more and she gave her audience a cute little curtsy as Gil dropped to his knees in front of her. It even drew a few claps when she pushed his head to the side and he collapsed onto his side moaning.

“Think you can get him some ice?” Amanda asked, looking at Ryan.

Shaking his head as if to clear it, he nodded and made his way to the bar.

“That was even better than watching you give that knee to JT,” Rebecca gushed.

“Thanks!” Amanda said happily. “Maybe when Ryan gets back he can pull Gil into the booth. I think he’s probably suffered enough public humiliation for the moment.”

Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Is there ever such a thing?”

They laughed. And then laughed some more.

Finally, when they’d collected themselves a little, Amanda added, “You’re right, though. There isn’t such a thing. Regardless of what your boyfriend said about not all girls being keen on it, I’m pretty sure there’s not a woman alive who, if she’s honest, doesn’t enjoy seeing a guy take a huge kick in the balls from a girl.”

“Or two,” Rebecca cracked as they once again broke into laughter.

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