Old-Fashioned Girls

Chloe was at the corner of the kitchen, at the drink counter, fixing what would be her 3rd Old-Fashioned. Dropping two dark cherries in, her best friend Samantha snuck up behind her. “Dude, why is your husband being such a dick.” She said half-laughing but half-serious. Chloe turned around to see her husband standing in the living room, eyes glued to his phone as always. “Ugh, is he being an asshole to you?” Chloe said, rolling her eyes and taking the first sip of her drink. “Yeah. I mean I get it, throwing you a bridal shower after the fact is a little silly, but he doesn’t have to keep saying how pointless this all was. And I tried to do it before but schedules were too crazy.” Samantha scoffed. Chloe started making her a drink “Ugh, I’m sorry. He has been an ass all day too. My fault maybe. I may have told him this was a co-ed bridal shower,” both girls looked outside at the patio where a large group of their girlfriends were setting up the next game, “ but secretly,” Chloe said with her hand covering the side of her mouth, “I may have just wanted my designated driver here and I may have over-promised what’d be happening in the bedroom tonight.” Both girls stifled their laughter, but Samantha was bothered by the thought of her friend rewarding Eric for his behavior.

“No no no, “ said Samantha, “That’s the last thing he deserves. What he needs is a kick in the balls. Hard enough to change that attitude.” “Mmmm, I’ll cheers to that.” said Chloe, as they tapped their glasses and took a drink. Chloe sat with the thought for a moment. She swirled her glass around, staring at the two cherries. “He really has been so rude lately.” She thought to herself. He was such a sweetheart most days. Just the stress of work and his long commute, the kids and the fact they hadn’t had much time for anything close to sex. But still, Sam had done so much for them lately, and all he’d ever done is talk about how much of a bitch she was, well, that and stare at her tits.

Chloe stirred her drink, “Oof, this drink is strong.” She thought as she tried to poke one of the cherries out, she battled the ice block and finally impaled both cherries on her stirrer. She pulled the cherries out and brought them to her lips. Her anger grew as she glanced at her husband, leaning against the couch, legs wide like he fuckin’ owned the place. She used her teeth to drag both cherries into her mouth. She played with them for a bit, feeling them with her tongue, and sucking the juice out of them. She then placed them between her teeth. Giving her husband a death-stare he didn’t notice, her eyes dropped to his groin. A smile came across her face as she slowly bit down into the cherries, crushing the life out of them. The juice was sweet and she chased it down with another sip of her whisky. He did deserve something, she thought, and he wasn’t going to enjoy it.

“You know what? Go ahead.” Chloe blurted out almost too excited. “Go ahead, what?” Samantha asked. “Kick his balls.” Chloe said with a hint of sexual desire in her voice.

“Oooooo girl, don’t tempt me! You know I’ll do it.” “No, seriously.” Chloe’s confidence grew. “Do it. He’s been so mean lately. He needs the reminder.” Samantha’s excitement grew as a mischievous smile formed on her face. “I mean,” Chloe continued, “ I make more than him, I clean, I cook, I’m with the kids most days, but he always finds something to give me shit about. And I even had to promise him a blowjob just to get him in the freakin car today, to come to something that he knows is important to me.” Samantha could see how hurt her best friend was. She had known Chloe for almost 20 years and Eric for the last 10. He really wasn’t a bad guy and he’d always been good to Chloe but he’d been so ballsy as of late. “So I say fuck him. Kick his balls into his throat for me.”

Samantha was shocked by the request at first, but she quickly realized, if this was any other guy, they'd be kissing the floor by now, and maybe their balls goodbye. Samantha had had quite the reputation in her younger days and she had dropped guys for so much-less. The fact that she had allowed Eric to talk to her this way was a true testament to her respect and love for Chloe. But she was still hesitant.

“Dude, I haven’t dropped a guy like that since college.” “Oh I know, but how many guys met your boots during that time?” Samantha felt a sense of pride hearing Chloe’s words. She almost felt nostalgic thinking of all the guys she had brought down. She had grown since then and obviously wasn’t ‘assaulting’ men like that now for no-reason, but back then she had too many reasons. Too many boys she left crying on a dance floor for getting too handsy. Sometimes the only way a boy understands the words “No” is when they’re screaming it whilst being dragged out of a dorm room, balls-first. She couldn’t even remember names, but those stupid-looking faces they made were burned into her brain. They all made the same stupid face as they fell to the floor. Like they were so confused by the pain, gasping for air. Like they had just discovered their own testicles and were immediately betrayed by them.

Wow. The sexual excitement hit her like a freight train. Her cheeks flushed and she felt the warmth travel from her chest, down to between her legs.

Oh, she wanted this.

In their excitement they failed to realize Eric walking into the kitchen. “I need a drink, babe.” He said to Chloe. They snapped out of their convo. “You’re driving home?” Chloe said, confused. “Fuck no I’m not. You think I’m staying sober while these plastic friends of yours pretend to love these sad games? All just for a fuckin Instagram post.” He added under his breath. Chloe couldn’t believe how bold he was. Did he not know that Samantha’s breasts were fake? Half of the girls outside had had mommy-makeovers, but who was he to judge them. Does he know what having a baby does to a woman's body! I’m sure he’d add a few inches to his dick if he could! Half the reason they hadn’t had sex lately was because of how Chloe felt about her own body. Chloe felt her eyes tear-up in anger. “Fuck you I’m not making you a drink.” Eric rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he said. I’ll just grab a beer then.” Eric walked over to the fridge and grabbed a can. He drank it in a matter of seconds. “Thanks anyway, babe.” He snarked as he walked back to the living room.

Both girls looked at each other in disbelief of Eric’s rashness. Chloe was actually embarrassed. “Oh hell no!” Samantha said. “He’s going to regret that.”

Samantha looked at Chloe for approval. Chloe gave her a stone-cold nod. Samantha turned to face the living room. As she walked towards the room Chloe grabbed her hand. “One condition.” she said, Samantha scoffed expecting Chloe to back-out. “Kick him as hard as you can, or don’t kick him at all.” Chloe said it with such vitriol it almost pushed Samantha over the edge. “Why was this so fucking hot?” Samantha thought to herself.

“Babe, if I do that, I can’t promise there'll be anything left for you to suck on tonight.” Chloe covered her mouth to hold back her smile. “His balls can take it.” She snarked. “ And honestly, if they can’t , you’ll be saving him from a world of pain for the rest of our marriage.”

“You’re sure?” You know I’ve messed up some guys real bad before.”

“Hey, you see this ring?” Chloe proudly displayed the nice rock on her ring-finger. “ And I have 2 beautiful babies at home. Believe me, I’ve gotten everything I need outta that sac of his.”

Samantha knew Chloe was joking, I mean, she thought she knew. But she was done questioning it. She was gonna rock this man’s world and nothing could stop her at this point. The fever she felt between her legs had taken over and she could feel how wet she was. She downed the rest of her drink and gave Chloe a wink. She was going to give this man everything he deserved and what made it even hotter was his wife was going to love it!

She strutted towards Eric. His eyes were glued to his phone. She could make out his obvious bulge in his tight jeans from across the room. She pulled her leather skirt up enough to give her full-range of motion. She felt sexy showing off her body. She loved the feeling of the cool air against her inner-thighs. Her boots felt heavy on the wooden floor, they made her feel more powerful with each step. As she got within range she felt the shudder of excitement throughout her whole body. This was it.

She felt like she was running towards him as she launched her right foot towards her bulbous target. So much power, fueled by anger and disgust and way more sexual excitement than she was willing to admit.

Eric had no time to react. He noticed her walking closer. He lifted his eyes off his phone to make eye-contact, fully expecting a lecture from his wife’s best friend. A better man may have been able to spare himself some damage, but Eric’s eyes lingered just a little too long on Samantha’s chest, he failed to see the blur of her Steve Madden boot exploding towards his egregiously-exposed manhood. Eric had foolishly worn a pair of boxer briefs made to place his package front-and-center and keep his loose sac from bouncing around, which was the only thing his testicles would so-desperately need.

Samantha’s kick was almost as fast as it was accurate. The toe and thick sole of her boot made direct contact with both testicles. There was absolutely no holding-back. Even if she wanted to, the alcohol had given her all the freedom she had craved in this moment.

Everything moved in slow-motion for her. She felt her boot rising after initial contact. She’d always been told, you don’t just kick a man IN the balls, you kick THROUGH them. She felt as if her foot just kept heading towards the ceiling, rearranging the contents of his jeans, expecting a stopping point that never came…

Until it did.

A hard, and violent stop. Her toe crashed into her boot, as her boot crashed into what she could only assume was Eric’s pelvic bone. She felt the leftovers of his package forcefully fight back as her foot bounced-back down to the earth. A sickening thud echoed throughout the room, soon followed by a nauseating wail escaping Eric’s mouth.

Eric came crashing down, his face catching Samantha’s knee on the way down before slamming again into the wooden floor. “Oh fuck this felt good!” She thought as her body fought hard between orgasmic joy and dumb laughter. The laughter took over once Eric rolled-over and she saw that face.

Such a stupid face!

His eyes bulging out and glazed over. His mouth wide-open, wailing, his lips quivering as if trying to form words. She couldn’t control her laughter as she brought her hand to her mouth. “What would he even say if he could talk?’ She thought of all the ridiculous things going through his mind. “Why me? Why my balls? Why am I so weak? And I bet you not one of those words would be sorry!” Her inner-monologue was broken when she heard Chloe from behind her.

“Oh fuck!” Chloe exclaimed. Samantha tried to regain her composure as she turned to face Chloe. She didn’t want to seem too callous about this puddle of a man at her feet. Her worries were eased when she turned to see Chloe, smiling with her phone out, recording the whole thing. “That was just perfect!” Chloe affirmed. Samantha gave a slight bow to the camera, “Only the best for you babe.”

Eric’s wailing had turned into a quiver as he rolled-about on the floor. Both girls took in the show as they watched Eric’s strong, masculine body try to decide between the fetal position and a fully-arched back. His hands were glued to his groin and his legs flailed wildly, his body trying to find any way to escape the inescapable. Pure pain. White-hot, like nothing he had ever felt. So deep in his body. He heard nothing, he saw nothing. His quivers turned into true, guttural moans as the heavier waves of pain set in. Drool falling from his lips and tears forming, the only thing keeping him from passing out was each incoming wave.

What felt like hours passed as Eric finally started to regain his senses. His hearing returned as he heard what sounded like laughter being cut short by his stirring. His vision cleared from the blur as he noticed two black boots clacking towards him. His cheek was on the floor soaked in tears. His butt in the air, his body curled trying to relieve the unbearable pain in whatever was left of his balls. The boots reached his face and he was reminded of who had done this to him.

Samantha kneeled down next to him and rubbed his back. “Aww, you stupid little boy.” She said condescendingly. “Well, good news at least. It looks like this isn’t a Co-Ed Bridal Shower after-all.” Eric felt the sting of her words. “But the bad news,” Samantha continued, placing her hand on his cheek to wipe some tears, “You might need to borrow some of that silicone you were talking about earlier. I’d hate for you to go home empty-handed.” She grabbed at his hands and gave him a good jiggle causing him to squeal. Eric tried feeling around his sac but the pain was too much. All he could do was lay there and pray all of him was still intact.

Samantha jumped back to her feet and gave Eric a quick spank on the butt. “Well I think my work here is done?” She walked over to Chloe who was enjoying every moment of humiliation her husband was getting.

Both girls laughed as they made themselves new drinks.

Eric’s moans faded into the background as they rejoined the party

“You know what, Eric was right, you really are such a bitch.” Chloe said with glee.

“Oh for sure. And now he’ll never forget it.”

The girls clinked their glasses. “Cheers!”