Of Hopes and Longings, Ruined

Ricky walked through the decrepit arcade, impatiently shaking at his flashlight, which haphazardly flickered on and off. There was nothing to do here, in this building that had been out of business for a good couple years now — save for staring at the old, arcade machines, which he was mostly tasked to watch until they could be auctioned off to antique vendors and rabid collectors. Having nothing to do made even the smallest inconveniences seem like hell.

Hell, it wasn’t the worst gig in the world though. Ricky was an academic, a writer who had just moved states with his girlfriend for his PhD program. Only, the program hadn’t given him enough of a stipend to support the two of them, and so he decided to take the security guard job to make ends meet. It was an easy, uneventful job that let his mind wander, one that didn’t task that head of his so much, so that he could focus on his research and his writings.

Only, away from his girlfriend, alone in the dark-lit arcade, being scared half-to-death by unkempt, horribly designed animatronics, Ricky found that he wasn’t thinking about his studies or his writings at all. He was thinking about girls, which in turn always drew his attention to those insatiable parts between his legs, his penis which stiffened like a mast, and his testicles, how full his sack felt, just waiting to burst.

He thought about his girlfriend, Courtney, who was an above-average looking girl, but, Ricky always thought, nothing too special in the face department. But she was well above the mean when it came to her body; she was extremely buxom, with a chest she always made sure to show off through her low-cut top, and a butt that the gods seemingly made daisy dukes for. What’s more, she had an absolutely unceasing sex drive, and Ricky knew that when he came home, late into the night, Courtney would push him against the wall, unbutton then pull down his trousers, before wrapping her fulsome lips around his throbbing shaft.

Ricky fantasized about what he wanted most from Courtney, which was to put his dick in between her voluptuous breasts, titty-fucking her as Courtney cupped her hands around his testicles. She loved fondling his egg-like reproductive organs, and loved kissing each of his testicles before they went to sleep, after she had drained him of his cum.

Courtney wasn’t Ricky’s first, but it was Courtney’s enthusiasm, as well as her patience and loving nature which had given Ricky the confidence to, well, perform in bed. Ricky was an able man in the bedroom now, blessed with size, a responsive body, and practiced rhythm — but that had not always been the case.

Ricky thought back to his ex, his first girlfriend (Courtney was only his second), Juliette. Courtney was an above-average looking girl with a stunning body, but Juliette was — at least to Ricky — the full-package. She was a mixed girl, Polish and Vietnamese, and Ricky found her Eurasian features to be compelling, her porcelain-like features, her (oh so very exceptionally skilled) lips, her dark hair which Ricky remembered flowed down like black silk unto her breasts. She had what Ricky called “secret breasts” — she was of a lithe, slender build, but when she took her top off, she revealed these perfect, round orbs with the cutest, perkiest nipples that Ricky could suck on for hours.

Only, sometimes, that was all Ricky could do. Back then, Ricky had been healthy, had been extremely sedentary and slightly overweight due to focusing only on his studies, and the fast food he often ordered to get him by a late night cram. He could never maintain an erection for her despite his attraction, as his blood flow was lackluster — and Juliette worried about his fertility and prospects of making children. Ricky and Juliette had often talked about having a big house after he got his first professorship, about having two children, one named Tuesday, and the other Eden.

Only, not once in two years did Ricky and Juliette successively manage to have penetrative sex. Juliette had broken up with him, her hand still wrapped around his mostly limp, partially hard dick, an hour into desperately attempting to coax him into an ever-so rare orgasm.

Ricky loved having sex with Courtney, but who he really loved was Juliette. She was the one Ricky wanted to have copious, hour-long love making sessions with. She was the one who he wanted to fondle his testicles to sleep in the late, intimate hours. She was the one he wanted to give her children to. He remembered fingering Juliette in the showers, and imagined if — instead of his fingers — it could be his hard dick inside, how he imagined he’d be brought to orgasm nearly instantly when he felt her walls around his penis.

One day, Ricky thought to himself, his cock fully stiffening beneath his uniform as he stood almost hypnotized in the center of the arcade, he would get back together with Juliette. Until then, he’d keep having sex with Courtney, mastering his stamina, practicing day after day until he could not only give Juliette his children, but also the best sex of her life. She’d fall back in love with him for sure — she had always loved him for his mind and his sensitivity, and now he had what it took to win her over in the physical chemistry department as well.

Absent-mindedly, he reached down to feel his erect penis, as his phone vibrated in his pocket.

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“Hurry, hurry — you get the lock yet?”

Unbeknownst to Ricky, on the other end of the copiously sized arcade, Sofia and Kelly rummaged through old safe-boxes and lockers, where misplaced and never collected items were kept. There was a surprising incidence of, to their disgust, shoes which seemed to grow even more pungent in their years of disuse — but also, luckily enough, old watches and cheap jewelry (which, still, was jewelry), and sometimes even a wallet with over a hundred in cash. The twin thieves, twenty-year old adventurers and explorers of haunts and abandoned places, stowed their finds in go-bags, before hurriedly proceeding through the premises.

“Let’s go check out the machines!” Sofia whispered, as Kelly waved her off with an expletive of a gesture, “Awwww, please, I watched some shitty pawn show where this pasty dude spent a month’s salary on an old Galaga.”

“Why? It’s not like we can lift a machine — and what do you mean month’s salary? You and I don’t know the first thing about salaries,” Kelly snapped.

“But, we can break into a machine…”

“... for quarters?”

“Please? We already got such a good haul today, now let’s do something just for fun.”

Kelly sighed, but nevertheless beckoned for Sofia — beaming — to lead the way.

“I wonder what we’ll find… Pac-Man? Oh, no, I wanna see Ms. Pac-Man — she’s way fucking cooler, and apparently she’s even more popular in Japan than mister is. Space Invader? I hope not too many racing games, I’ve never liked them so much — except Mario Kart is kind of cool and—”

“What the fuck?”

Sofia and Kelly stopped near the door. Peering out past it, they couldn’t believe what they saw. It was the arcade’s security guard, a strapping, lean and muscular man with short black hair and boyband features. In one hand, he had his phone. In the other, Sofia and Kelly gasped, he held his dick, teasing it and stroking it gently as he masturbated to the woman’s voice on the phone.

Lustful young women in their own right, Sofia and Kelly stopped to inspect what the man was working with: he didn’t have the largest dick, but it was a respectable five inches, and the skin on it looked so smooth and well-groomed. Looking at him from the side, what became apparent was that the man had a bag on him, a full dangling sack, two mostly shaved testicles that seemed to loom large with virile matter.

“Oh, Courtney, please tell me more about what you’re going to do when I finally come home from work.”

The man whimpered. Sofia blushed, finding it endlessly adorable. Kelly winced, finding it to be an unmanly turn-off.

“Well, Ricky… the girls have really missed that big friend of yours… maybe we can get them nice and acquainted with each other… I’d just love to feel your big, big cock in between my tits. I want to watch you stare at my boobs, and tell me how much you like them, how good it feels to feel them around your cock…”

Kelly shot Sofia a look of warning — she could hear her twin sister’s heavy breathing.

“I want you to tell me how badly you want to spill your seed over your chest, how full your balls feel… then I want to fondle them… I want to fondle your balls so badly… I want to feel how warm they are… I want you to keep pumping your cock between my boobs as I—”

Sofia gasped, turned on. Kelly jumped in alarm and tried futilely to hide the two of them before the security guard’s flashlight turned onto them, the light still going on and off.

Ricky dropped the flashlight as he registered the two of them, “Uh, uh, um, oh baby, keep telling me all these things you want to do to me, I just want to listen for a while…” He pressed the mute button on his cellphone, and then frantically pulled his briefs up around his waist. Ricky always wore tight, white briefs — partially because Juliette had liked them on him back in the day, and because he himself was proud of how his erection, and his testicles looked in them.

“What the fuck are you two doing?” Ricky yelled.

Kelly cut off Sofia’s stammering, “None of your fucking business, you small-time wannabe cop. Why don’t you go back to fucking jerking it to your girlfriend before you get seriously hurt, Tightie Whities?”

Ricky had developed a short temper into his young adulthood — some of his friends theorized that the root cause had been his sexual frustration during his relationship with Juliette. On that fateful night, Ricky would come to regret it.

Ricky snarled, incensed that his fun had been interrupted: “What the fuck do you two stupid bitches think you’re doing, breaking into an arcade. What do you two have here, in that bag?” Ricky stomped forward, in only his briefs, leaving his still unbuckled trousers behind him — in spite of her fear and anxiety, Sofia, the more sexually inexperienced and imaginative of the pair, stared at his bulge in spite of herself, feeling herself growing more flush.

Kelly, on the other hand, already used to even more endowed men, felt nothing but contempt for the arcade security guard. “We robbed the place. Knick-knacks. A couple wallets. But nothing you’d probably get fired for. And definitely not something worth getting seriously hurt for.”

“Dumb bitch,” Ricky stomped forward, “What the fuck do you two think you could do?”

Kelly squinted, “If you take another step, your dick will never get hard enough again for you to put it between Courtney’s tits.”

He should have heeded that warning, but he didn’t. Ricky charged, but as athletic as he was, he moved slowly, hampered by the erection in between his powerful legs. Kelly knew this: she had had a history of giving problematic, less-than-wholesome men blue balls after making them eat her out for hours, leaving them to chase after her angrily, waddling around with their unwieldy boners.

She’d only need one kick.

Kelly heard Courtney’s voice over the phone speaker: “Oh please, please Ricky, won’t you let me fondle your perfect balls?”

They won’t be so perfect after this.

She timed it perfectly, as she saw Ricky in mid-stride, slowed down enough for her to witness the moment in which thighs part, and his testicles — their size a boon for the most part, but tonight a terrible curse — ripe for the taking. Kelly took one powerful step forward, before unleashing a kick of Herculean might upwards, between the sanctuary of left and right thigh, all that was between her foot and his family jewels — the prized possessions Ricky would need to maintain his pleasant, intimate future with Courtney.

There was a resounding crack, which seemed to echo along with Courtney’s saccharine-sweet, lusty voice – “Your balls, Ricky, I love how perfectly oval and round your balls are. They’re so big and smooth and perfectly curved… I just want to run my tongue over them…”

It seemed unlikely, Kelly considered, that Courtney would ever get the chance to run her tongue over Ricky’s balls again — or that, if she did get the chance, that what she’d feel would no longer be a perfect, smooth surface, but likely a hard, rough craggliness, the bumpy surface of mangled, imperfectly repaired, shriveled testicles. She watched as Ricky’s testicles began their upward journey from the impact — the right testicle, the lucky one, seemed to fly up, squashed and deformed, past Ricky’s cock; while the left, the unlucky one, remained trapped above Kelly’s dark, steel-toed boots, pressing up into his pelvic bone.

Courtney again: “We’re gonna have so many kids together, Ricky, but tonight… tonight it’ll be okay if you waste some of your seed on me… you’ll still have so much seed to share with me in the future…”

Kelly grinned — while Sofia stood behind her, hands clasped over her open mouth in shock — and Ricky hunched over, his eyes crossed, about to roll into the back of his head, and his mouth seemed to permanently affix itself into an ‘o’ shape. A low moan escaped from Ricky’s throat, as his hands — trembling from the pain — made an absurdly, darkly hilarious show of pulling down his briefs so he could inspect the damage.

Kelly and Sofia watched as the briefs came down, revealing Ricky’s ruined manhood. Both of them had the distinct impression that it looked like someone had forcibly shrunk his now purpling testicles. They watched as Ricky desperately reached for his balls, but failing to touch them — he cupped his hands in a way that would have only worked for the old shape of his testicles. The new state of his testicles evaded his hands — and perhaps even his mind, as if Ricky’s body and brain could not accept the change that Kelly had forced upon his manhood — upon his entire world.

Perhaps in shock, perhaps in despair, Ricky keeled over, his mouth still open, puke running from his lips.

Kelly turned to go, before being stopped by Sofia.

“I… I can’t believe you did that, I…” Sofia stammered.

“I love your balls so much, Ricky,” they heard Courtney’s sultry whisper from the phone.

Sofia ran over to the phone, pressed the mute button, “Um, hi!”

“Who the fuck is this?”

“I… it’s… well… Courtney, I think you should send an ambulance to the old Arcade down Ridley Road… and, um… I’m so sorry. Best of luck with everything. I promise you two will still be able to have children, and sex, and everything, I promise!”

With that, Sofia and Kelly ran into the night, leaving Ricky behind.

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As Ricky laid there, his hands cupped around his crotch, he had many thoughts. He thought firstly of the twins, Sofia and Kelly, of how the two Eurasian women had looked passingly like Juliette — a thought that he knew would have made his dick twitch, were it not for what just transpired.

He thought also of what might have been, had this fate not befallen him. He thought of getting home, intact and uninjured, to a loving Courtney pushing against the wall, gyrating her hips and jiggling her breasts, teasing him. Teasing him and then pulling his pants down, enveloping his cock with the warmth of her breasts, and his balls — his perfect, whole balls — with her soft, gentle, caressing hands.

He thought lastly of Juliette. The only girl he had ever truly been in love with. Before he faded into unconsciousness, he thought of that fateful night Juliette had broken up with him, her hand desperately pumping away at his meager, flaccid cock. Only, in this new imagining, his cock stood at its full length, and Juliette was beaming down at him as he whimpered for her, as her beautiful, delicate hands stroked his cock with such love, and such fervor, and such passion… the way she blinked back tears of relief and joy as she finally brought him to release, spurts of seed escaping from his tip.

As he closed his eyes and entered into the darkness, he thought he could feel a tear roll down his cheek.

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A Month Later

Juliette rose from her bed, and looked at herself in the mirror. She had thought about her old boyfriend, Ricky, that night, and she would look at herself in the mirror whenever she did. It was because she never understood what it was about her that didn’t do it for Ricky — what about her slender form, or her pert, nicely-shaped breasts, or her long gossamer hair, her fulsome lips, the sultry smolder her face naturally settled into.

She had lots of sex after breaking up with Ricky, as she had been desperate to make up for lost time — those two years of involuntary abstinence. She had been with lots of men, and the sex had been good, but in her heart, she had longed only for Ricky — who in all other respects had been perfect for her. He was the only one she had ever truly felt anything before.

Turning around to inspect her supple, thonged ass, she gave a start as she saw the name on her phone. It was a text from Ricky:

Hi Juliette,

I don’t know why I’m doing this — I guess it’s because something terrible happened to me recently. Or because I left for a new chapter, and I always held out hope I’d reunite with you, but now that I’ve left, it’s goodbye for good. I hope you’ve been doing wonderfully, and I’m proud of any new experiences and adventures you’ve had.

Life’s not been all good for me, but I’ve had some good things. I got into Michigan for my PhD studies, so that’s where I’m at. I also met a person that I like, which I thought would never happen after you, who moved with me to Michigan,. My health has improved, and for a while I was able to have satisfying intercourse with my girlfriend — I wish I had put in the same effort when we were together.

But I think karma struck me, for never putting in the effort for you, for wasting two years of your life with my incapable self and my laziness and my complacency. I suffered a severe injury — to supplement my grad school stipend, I took up a security guard job in Michigan, guarding an arcade, a job where I could just do nothing and write in the night hours. I know, I don’t seem like the type, but I’m a lot stronger than I used to be.

But my first night on the job, there was this lady. A thief. I tried to get her off the arcade without touching her but she lashed out. She gave me a very severe kick to the testicles. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I lost my left testicle, and though my right one was saved, it’s no longer capable of producing sperm. I’m not capable of having children anymore.

My life with my current girlfriend, Courtney, feels like the one I had with you again. I can no longer perform in the bedroom and satisfy her. She’s putting up a kind face, but I think she’s frustrated and wants to leave me. Again, I think it’s karma because I failed to succeed in giving satisfaction to you, and for all the years of your life I wasted. I’m pathetic and I’m sorry.

I think it’s karma and fate that I’ll never have a family, or children, or a functional sex life. Even the dream I once had of giving you a big house, and kids to fill them with, is dead.

Goodbye, for good this time, I love you so much,

Ricky

Juliette put her phone down and returned to her bed, and sobbed.

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