Never been busted -am I the only one?

[Psyop717]

Hello, all!  Sorry for lurking for so long without a word,but I am a private kind of person. I am, of course, also curious and interested in our mutual like here.Sorry for the long post.

I've absorbed a lot about what makes busters and bustees tick...and I've never found any women IRL that is interested in it.  They have never expressed anything other than confusion and/or complete disinterest in it. I'm very careful not to reveal myself in my conversations,but it's all the same: I seem unable to find anyone. So, to all of you posters with partners that are into it and doing vids,I salute you lucky bastards!

For the ladies here: I've often heard that ladies don't want to really hurt the guy they're with, which is something that is inherent in the act. Anyone have a hang up on this as well?  Also, I've had one lady friend say that she wouldn't get into something like that because there was nothing 'in it' for her. Meaning, the busting only really favor the guy, not the gal. Anyone agree with this?

In any event, I'd like to know how you all found someone that is into it. Did you start with a friend,or find a way to convince your partner? Not to be crass, but, have you ever paid for it? I don't know if I'd like that, but still something to consider.

Finally, is there somewhere that someone like myself can find someone interested and/or willing? I understand that this isn't the place for it, so I won't insult anyone here by asking. That doesn't mean that someone doesn't know of other outlets I could possibly tap. Also, though I have a sexual attraction to it, I'm not into the nude ballbusting or bondage stuff, I'd prefer to be as close to natural as possible.

Any and all info would be appreciated.Love the site and the contributions!

Psy

[Psyop717]

Wow, thank you for such a warm welcome, and such thorough answers.  I really appreciate it! I've been digesting what you've said here, I think I'll try to be more active with the community here, kind of warm myself up to new approaches and ideas. 

Finding actual friends that are into what I'm into is a HUGE thing for me, actually. I don't really want a stranger 'dealing' with me, if you know what I mean.  And, if I'm going to be honest, dominance is a factor in what we do, and I don't relish the idea of some random person wielding my desires as a means of control. So, the more friends and respectful relations, the better!

[Dustin]

Hey man! Thanks for posting, glad to hear from you after lurking for so long!

I can tell you that if you're a shy guy - this could be very very difficult for you. 

If you're really outgoing and have lots of friends (female friends specifically) then you have numbers on your side. If you brought up BB as a "joke" or in a playful way with 10 different girls you're friends with, there's a great chance at least one, if not a handful of them, would be willing to bust you (just for the fun and humor of it).

If you don't have tons of lady friends, your best bet is finding a partner who loves you (and who you love as well) and once you to are comfortable with each other, let her know that you're into it and see if she'd be willing to try. Again, keep it playful and not super serious. BB is fun after all.

Good luck brother, if you ever see me online feel free to chat!

[Psyop717]

Hello Dustin, thank you for your warm response as well! You and Logan really helped out with my apprehension, I promise that. 

To respond, I don't have a ton of friends where I am; mostly due to working and going to the university constantly, as well as my age. It's all the more reason for some isolation. I do wish I'd gotten more involved in my earlier years, but, it is what it is. 

I've been working on the partner thing for a short while as well. I'm actually not that unlucky in the relationship department, but my past partners were not open to many things, and I've only actually managed to open up to one of them completely about BB (got super weird, super fast, and never spoken of again). 

Talk to you soon, and I'll be glad to chat sometime!

[Elizabeth Hammer]

I'm interested actually how do boys bring it up as a 'joke?' Just curious to see if I've been missing anything haha

[Franco]

In my experience, testing the water some time before can be usefull. For exemple, if you want one girl friend of yours to kick you in the balls, next time she sends you a message and asks how you are doing, tell her that you feel good, even though you are kind of hurting, because your sister/cousin/another friend has kicked you in the groin while you were playfighting with. If she goes "AHAHAHAH! Are you alright down there? :p", its generally better than if she goes "Oh my god you poooooor thing!", but you can still say something like "I can't believe she did this while I was winnng! What a cheater!", most of the time, girls thatend up liking it will laugh and say that it is no cheating. If she goes "AHAHAH", mention it one or two other times, and maybe mention another bust. If the reaction is still always laughing, it's often a good sign. Tell her you need some training if this cousin is going to be like that all this time, and that if she would help you train with gentle kicks, you'd be soooooo thankfull. If she says no, then she's not interested and there's no use continuing.

Ok ok, it's true that it is kind of lying to say you were hurt when you weren't. But if it happened in your dreams, it kind of counts anyways doesn't it? :s. Also, it's just to be sure you don't annoy someone that don't want to be annoyed by this fetish when you could totally know it wasn't her thing.

[Joe]

That's totally normal.  There is no use beating yourself up about that.  A lot of people have the fantasy or thoughts or ideas for years before it becomes a reality.  They see it on the internet on a clips site and realize it is hot or exciting.  Then they play it over in their head many times before it becomes a reality.  For some relationships depending on the communication or acceptance of fetish it may be difficult to talk about our bridge this gap.  For some going to a Domina or a Dungeon is terrifying especially the very first time if you are young and never have done it before.  This is so nromal.  A lot of people feel like this.  There is no use to beat up on yourself about this.  It doesn't help that there is a stigma attached to fetish by society.  So people feel they are doing something wrong.  Then they don't let their true feelings out to experience it.  A lot of people are conflicted by it for years and don't do it for a variety of reasons.  

The bottom line is the fetish is still your fetish.  Some people also just like to watch the videos and not participate too.  There is that aspect to the fetish too.  But they still have the fetish in some sense by watching it and finding it exciting.  Not everybody actually participates in it.  It's there for you if you want to see a Domina.  The option is always there.  It will be there next week, next month and next year too.  When you are ready you will do it.  If not it is your fetish to watch it and fantasize about it.  Which is fine too.

[Mikolaj]

It's perfectly normal - most peolpe think and dream about their fetishes before they try to make them real. For me - it took over 5 years, because I wanted to make it safe and fulfilling. Don't rush it, find good and understanding /experienced partner or professional Dominatrix, explain clearly what drives you, what are your limits and THEN go for it.

A lot of studies say that over 50% of woman fantasize about rape. Do you think they want to be raped? Of course not! But they are probably excited about power play in sex and would love to role-play something similar. Smart women with that fantasy are waiting and looking for brain-matured man to realize that fantasy with strict rules for safety and satisfaction.

Be smart, make it safe and fulfilling.

[Ballistic]

Took me years to slowly edge my way towards revealing this fetish and that was to one person (my wife) and even that took a lot for me to get to. In fact, it was someone on this board who coached me to just get over it and let her know. The truth is that I was worried she would think I was weird and was unlikely to really 'get it'.  In the end, she DID think I was weird and to this day still doesn't really get it!. BUT,  the good news is that it was no big deal one way or another and in fact, she has slowly warmed to it just a bit and will play around here and there but it's always for my benefit; I know she is not into it and probably never will be.

I often think to myself when I meet some of the women on here that if I had known there were women who were into this back in my younger days I would have found one or died single. It's awesome to know there really are some women who are turned on by their power and dominance and I think I'll just have to satisfy myself with that fact (and the occasional chat). But keep searching out there. You never know who might be a secret ballbuster. 

[Harald]

I am not quite sure but I would suppose you are not the only one in the world, even not here at KITG :) 

But don't bother. It's not that KITG is only a community for professionals at an expert level. Maybe you get some tips and advice which will bring you nearer to the actual experience. 

I have also experienced that it is very difficult to find a bb partner and that it is the same as with finding an ordinary partner. If you are looking for it you don't find anyone, but some time the right one just appears out of nowhere. 

From experience I would say if you have a girl friend who is also into bb you sooner or later will check it. She will make some comments about it, laugh her ass off when she sees a guy being kicked in the balls on tv. Or if you do or say something which annoys her you are quite sure to feel her foot or fist between her legs. 

So just be optimistic. Some time you will find one who will take care of your balls. 

[Jenoo]

I would like to also share my experiences. I'm quite unlucky with girls, though I had a few girlfriends since the age of 18. With the first one I did not even know what I wanted, I just felt that my limits on the pain-pleasure scale was different from the usual, just mentioned once, I wanted to test it. We started soft, and went on really slow. We broke up for other reasons later.

I'm currently going out with my 4th GF, and 3 of all 4 did this favor to me. 2 of them are dominant ones so they like punishment or so, even if they had not formed out ballbusting in their minds, they were willing to do it, and liked it. The 3rd one was simply playful, once I came out, and asked if she would do a few taps or hard grabs, just to test it. And that expanded as well. The unwilling girl didn't dare to hurt me any way. She was quite shy and prude.

Summing up my experience, if it is important to you, try to get a GF, who is dominant in her sexual side, this will clear up easily/soon. A dominant or a playful GF will be willing. Take it easy, start playfully.