Bust a Pair to Make a Pair: A BB card game

[Smack My Nuts]

I was watching a video where a guy was playing a self-busting game which looked fun, but because of the details, would be hard for me to do.  I realized though that what I really liked about it is that he would get closer to being done and then farther away and he didn't know how many busts he was going to have to take.  A lot of ballbusting games I've seen just tell you how many busts you're going to get and you tend to know how close you are to the finish.  I wanted to make up a game where you can get closer or farther but also where the rules are pretty simple.  So this is the game I came up with.  I call it bust a pair to make a pair.  You can either play it as a self-busting game or as a game with a partner who busts you as the cards dictate.

Basic rules:

1) Shuffle a normal deck of cards.  (Jokers may be included or left out depending on how difficult you want to make it.)

2) Choose a goal for the number of pairs you have to achieve.  I usually go for 5, but I'll discuss other possibilities at the end.

3) In each round, draw two cards off the top of the deck.  There are three possibilities:
    a) They're a pair of cards (two of the same number/face card or both jokers).  Congrats.  You have a pair.  Put it aside in the area where you're going to put your pairs.
    b) They're not a pair, but they are both number cards (aces count as a 1).  This is not a pair, but you must make it into a pair by being busted a number of times equal to the difference between their numbers.  So if you draw a 5 and a 6, you can make this a pair by being busted once.  If you draw a 2 and a 7, five busts.  If you draw an ace and a ten, nine busts.  Once you make it a pair by taking the busts, you add it to your pairs area.
    c) They're not a pair, and at least one of them is a face card or joker.  This is not a pair and can't be made into one.  Not only is this not a pair, but it's non-pairy aura also destroys one of your existing pairs.  So put these two cards into the discard pile and take one of your existing pairs and put it in the discard pile as well.  If you had not made any pairs before making this non-pair, it doesn't go negative or anything, you just don't throw anything else out with it.

4) When you have reached your target number of pairs (not counting any you had to discard), you win.  If you give up before you get there, you lose.

5) If you run out of cards before you reach your goal, remove two face cards from your discard pile and the reshuffle it to be your new draw pile.  Keep your existing pairs, if any.

Optional rule:

if you want, you can assign a particular type of bust to different suits (hit with a club for clubs, punches for diamonds, squeezes for hearts, punches of spades, or whatever).  When you draw two numbers to make into a pair, use the suit of the higher number to determine what type of bust.

Choosing a goal:

So, just to do some numbers, there are 52 cards in the deck, which means 26 potential pairs.  There are twelve face cards.  This means that you can potentially have 14 number pairs and 12 non-numbers pairs.  However, on average, you would expect to have one face card match up with another one (since it's a one in thirteen chance and there are twelve), leaving 15 number pairs and 11 non-number pairs.  Thus, you would usually expect to get to four pairs by the end of the first time through the deck.  Because of the way runs often tend to actually work (and since face card pairs drawn at the start don't remove number pairs), when I've tried it out, I find that I pretty much always get it i once through the deck with between about twelve and thirty busts.  If you want fewer busts, go with a lower number.  If you want more, go with a higher number, but keep in mind that as you go higher, the number of busts might increase dramatically since you might be having to go through the deck multiple times.

Just for your information, the average pair of number cards results in 3.3 busts (this includes matching pairs which are 0 busts, of course.  Excluding those, it would be 3.67).

You should obviously also keep in mind what form of busting you're using.  I tried it out with self-busting the other day, using a small tennis ball bazooka (device meant for shooting out a tennis ball so a dog can fetch it).  Ideally you want something where taking a couple of dozen shots to the balls will be an exciting challenge, but won't be impossible.  That will vary a lot depending on how sensitive you are.

So, if you play it, let me know how it goes.  I tried it out and found it pretty good.  I managed to earn my prize (a chance to release, in that case), but really had to push myself because my balls were getting pretty sore by the end.  The feeling that you just took eight shots to the balls for a ten/two pair only to have it wiped out by a face card the next draw is amazing.  It really gave me a bigger feeling of -having- to accept the punishment and being not in control than other games.  Hopefully some of you will feel the same way.

[ballsareforkicking]

I finally found my deck of cards and played this with my gf. She decided if I made it to the goal she would give me a handjob and let me cum (for background, I am lot allowed to cum without permission, and its been a while since she let me). She also decided that my goal was the whole deck. All 26 pairs. I agreed but thought there was no way it was going to happen. Might as well give it a shot. I sat down in the floor with my legs spread and knees up, and she stood in front of me. I dealt the cards on the floor between us. We decided to go with kicks. low to medium strength to give me an actual chance. i had a pen and paper to keep track of the progress.

After we went through the whole deck once, I had taken 46 kicks. They were pretty light but my balls were already getting sore. The good news was I also made 12 pairs! Almost halfway there, I thought I might be able to pull this off.

However after the first round, the pairs started accumulating much slower. Round 2 I was up to 66 kicks and 14 pairs. Round 3 - 80 total kicks and still 14 pairs. I got 22 more kicks in the fourth round and only added two pairs. She was still kicking lightly but the pain was really starting to grow.

After 10 rounds the total stood at 149 kicks and 21 pairs. I was so close but my balls were really aching and my stomach was in knots. The next round added 16 kicks and 1 pair. Only eight cards left in the deck now, and we knew only two were face cards. If they were dealt as a pair I would be home free.

next round - 6 kicks still 22 pairs

then 2 kicks still 22 pairs

at this point i had taken 173 kicks and was sitting at 22 pairs for the 3th round in a row. My gf said if she reached 200 kicks before i got 26 pairs the game is over and i dont get to cum.  She also said she was going to start kicking harder.

round 14- 177 kicks, 22 pairs  she was still only kicking around medium strength but my sore balls could barely take it.

round 15 - 183 kicks, 22 pairs.

round 16 - 193 kicks, and yup, still 22 pairs

In round seventeen I still netted 0 pairs, and i got 7 kicks, bringing the total to exactly 200, bringing an end to the game and my chance to cum.

She had me clean up the cards and told me to go make her something to eat. *sigh* Such is the life of a ballbusted man.

So yeah, great game Smack!