Broken Balls

[Melinda the Ball Breaker]

Hey guys, your worst nightmare here. Today I want you guys to share with me something special. I want to hear your broken ball stories. Have you lost one ? Almost lost one? Know someone who has lost a ball ? Accidents, or intentional ? You brave enough to share your pain with me? Because i really want to hear it .

[Just Me]

I think she thinks that I am not showing enough remorse or sorry enough. I've told her that I am sorry, but I keep smiling when I say it, because my brain is messed up and I smile when I am scared or in mourning. She thinks I think it is a big joke, even though I've explained that I am devastated for her.

Also, in her defense, she was extremely hesitant about trying this fetish at first, and I had to assure her over and over again that balls are resilient and it wouldn't damage anything. (I believed that, because I asked questions on Fetlife, and that is what everyone who has been doing it for years told me)

At some point, she either stopped caring about my reproductive capacity or at least roleplayed not caring. 

If it was just role play, I can understand her resentment. If she really was trying to destroy me, then I really don't understand how she can hold that against me. I always advised caution and was terrified of damage, but she loved twisting and squeezing because she felt it was more intimate and gave her more control. We reached a point where I honestly believed she was trying to castrate me because she would daily push me far beyond what I thought my limits were, and gave no care for the fact that some days I just wasn't into it or was way more sensitive than usual (I learned the hard way not to share that information with her). Looking back, I think she may have come to the conclusion after years of busting me that I was an invincible plaything she could get her energy from and relieve stress on. I'm pretty sure the destruction roleplay was just roleplay for her, and she didn't know she could really destroy them doing what she did. I used to reassure her all the time that everything was fine until she got comfortable and stopped asking. In my defense, I honestly thought everything was ok till I got tested. I hadn't had a break in being busted for years, so I had no idea my pain would be permanent if she stopped busting me. 

I think she also feels a lot of guilt, and projects that onto me. I know this: she is a good woman and until this happened was amazingly understanding and catered to my every fetish and need. She only got into  Bb and FLR because it was something I craved, and it wasn't a natural fit for her. She did come to enjoy it a lot and relish in it after a few years, but now I think she believes I cheated her out of a normal life.

She is my wife and I love her, and that will never change (regardless of what our relationship looks like). I am just wrestling now with the fact that I know it hurts her that I am still pursuing BB (She says she doesn't care, but I know her well enough to know that isn't true), but I don't know how to live without it. It is on my mind all day, even though I am now two years without it. Like a drugg addiction, I will literally get the shakes sometimes when I crave it and can't get it, and it is driving me crazy. I love her more than life, but my body craving this makes life unbearable without release. I spent the last two years trying to convince myself that time would make it better and I wouldn't need it anymore, but I finally broke down and am searching so I don't lose my mind. I want it desperately, but I feel so guilty, even though I have her permission.

[volcan51]

To me the lead part assumes the responsability. If she break your nuts was ultimately her decision. why she suffer as if it were you who led her to it.?

I wonder why you still with someone who made you suffer so deep, you cant have sex with her (she can with others). She dont bust you anymore and barely gave you any sexual happiness. On my opinion you could move her to friend zone with barely losing anything. BTW have you consider what happen if the guy she have children with want to raise the kids?

For the busting advice looks you on virgin zone again. It sucks, the solution its just will power through it. The trial/error method eventually will led you to nirvana if you have the guts to suffer the process.

[SwollenTesticles]

Part of our fetish is a wanting to have teh Feminine dominate and abuse the masculine.  So must also try to look out for ourselves sometimes in BB stuff because often the urge to submit to the woman makes us allow ourselves to be treated badly and in a negative way that is bey9ond the kink and fetish

It's a self destructive fetish, but know that WE SHOUD ALWAYS BE IN ON IT!  Unless you just want to be a strait up slave and that is your goal. .  

[Just Me]

She isn't abusive. She has never hurt me in a way I didn't consent to. Even now, she wasn't going to put me in this prison. I chose it. She wanted separation, and I begged her to let me stay in her life. If she finds someone who wants to raise kids with her, I am pretty sure my chance of our marriage working out will become too small to calculate, but right now she is just hooking up and looking for sperms donors. I will be honored to be the father of her children, no matter who the sperm came from. It hurts my ego a lot to think about, but in fairness, I cannot give her what she needs because of my poor choices and uncontrollable fetishes, and she shouldn't have to pay the price for that and go without a family. I think that when she gets pregnant it will take so much off her mind and put her in a much better place, and she will look for the security of a loving relationship that I provide her. I believe that things will get much better once we have a child on the way. I have already had a preview of this, because she thought a guy had knocked her up fairly recently, and she took a pregnancy test and the second line was kind of half showing but she wasn't sure, and was told to wait a week and take another one. During that week, I got to eat her out every day, we were cuddling and kissing in bed, she let me rub her feet and massage her every night, and I got to eat her out every morning and night (since we found out I was broken, when I give her oral she lays there and has a few orgasms, but doesn't have the hair pulling, hip thrusting passion she used to. That returned for a week.) Once the second test came back negative she went back to being stone-faced and dispassionate and the resentment started to creep back into the way she talked to me and looked at me. 

I have every reason to believe and be hopeful that once we are parents, the passion and affection will all return. I know she still loves me, even though she is mad at me. I am hoping that once she realizes she doesn't need my balls to make babies, she will go back to busting them. (Though the thought weirdly terrifies me since I've went so long without being busted. Lol)

[Peter Piper]

Not gonna lie, that sounds like a classic abusive relationship. As for your sex drive issues - you can go to a dr and if you really do have low test, which if you actually are broken then you most certainly do, you can get TRT and fix that.

Take some test, get a divorce and maybe some therapy - good luck.

[J. S.]

Back in the day I used to play paintball.  For those unfamiliar with it it's basically where you shoot a large pellet of paint to tag your hit.  CO2 is what was typically used and paintballs fire fast. You are required to wear a mask and some people wear cups as well. I never did. One day we were playing and was about to make the winning score and I got shot, again, and again, lower and lower.  I'm probably happy that it didn't hit one of my balls but I thought my dick was broken.  I even had to look at it to make sure it was still there.  Thankfully it still works, but had the shot been a little lower who knows.